How to keep kids safe on social media
Juliet Blank
Associate EditorSocial networking websites such as Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat and Twitter are getting more and more popular – and their users are getting younger and younger. If your kids can't stay away from social media, make sure you know how to keep them safe online.
Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat ... social media is everywhere. And no doubt your kids are becoming more and more obsessed with it by the day.
But as with everything in the virtual world, parents need to understand how their children are interacting on social networking sites, as well as potential dangers to be aware of.
Here's a handy parent's guide to social media, with plenty of advice on internet safety for kids and how to protect your child while they post/TikTok/Tweet/Snapchat ...
What is social networking?
Social networking websites have exploded and can connect people in the virtual world, both personally and professionally.
Social networking sites allow registered members to set up personal profiles and communicate with friends, and, if they choose, strangers. On social media people share personal interests, jokes, videos, opinions and more. Chat sites for teenagers are usually free to join and open to young people and adults (some sites such as Facebook have a minimum age limit of 13 for registered users).
A user will have her own homepage, which details personal details (age, location, marital status, for example) alongside a picture and other details about herself - the music she likes, favourite movie, the football team they support, etc. She can send messages to friends, download games and applications, share photos and music downloads, and chat in real-time.
Users can also join groups, publicise events and invite other users to attend, or start their own blogs. They can also provide frequent status updates, broadcasting to those in their networks what they're up to or how they're feeling. Perhaps most importantly, members create a listing of friends which allows them to communicate online and gives mutual access to more private content (such as photos).
What are the main social networking websites?
Across the world there are now a huge number of public and private online social networks, with the best-known including TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, to name but a few.
TikTok is one of the fastest growing sites among kids and young people -- it's been downloaded more than 3 billion times. In 2020 it saw a 180% growth in users aged 15-25. Facebook is one of the largest sites, with over 1.62 billion daily users.
According to a study carried out some time ago now, the other major players, particularly for younger children and teens, included the following, which had memberships running into several millions:
Poptropica is a virtual online world in which kids can create and customise their very own online character to travel across the globe, meeting other kids and playing games along the way. It has around 76 million users.
The virtual 'Habbo Hotel' is a place for kids and teens to meet up and socialise. You have to be 12 or over to join and the main feature of the site is a combination of 'public' rooms created by Habbo where anyone can visit and chat and 'private' guest rooms created by other players.
This free site has its roots as far back as 1997 but went global in 2004. It allows users to look after their own virtual pet, earning points to buy them food, toys and accessories. You can even enter your pet into contests. Alongside caring and customising pets, members can can take part in games and build up friendships with fellow neopet owners.
Aimed squarely at the female market, Stardoll is all about 'fame, fashion and friends.' It's the largest online community for girls who love fashion and want to meet like-minded people from around the world. They can use their customised MeDoll avatar to express themselves creatively, play games and make friends.
What are the risks of social networking for children?
Privacy
Privacy is always a concern for any online communication, and children often don't understand the risks involved in giving out too much personal information on the Internet.
This is of particular worry when such information is given to an individual who your child doesn't know personally; they may argue that someone is an 'online friend' but to all intents and purposes that person is effectively a stranger.
To many children the online world isn't the same as the real world and they can often behave in a way they would never do face to face, and say things they would never say, leaving them much more vulnerable in an online environment.
They may also be less protective of personal details such as their mobile phone number or address, which could have undesirable implications for them.
Teenagers and young people need to be very wary of broadcasting events such as birthday parties or 'the weekend mum and dad are away' to their online friends.
There have been several cautionary headlines involving children who have posted details of house parties on social networking sites to find their event is gate-crashed by hundreds of unknown people, ending in chaos and police involvement.
Cyberbullying
This occurs when malicious comments are posted online about an individual and/or that user receives abusive messages or other content.
As social networking allows people to take on a different online persona, this can encourage individuals who wouldn't be a bully in the real world to take part in unpleasant activities because their real identity can be covered up.
Cyberstalking
Another risk is that of cyberstalking, or harassment on the Internet. Experts have warned that this unpleasant practise is set to increase in the UK, with most victims being female.
Cyberstalking via social networking sites usually falls into three camps: where an ex pursues the victim because they are angry about a relationship break-up; where a relationship has been initiated online and personal information has been exchanged but that relationship has now soured and those personal details become vulnerable; or where someone is the random victim of a cyberstalker and their pursuer just gets a kick out of the malicious exploitation of online users - unfortunately often children.
Age-inappropriate content
The Internet provides access to all kinds of content at the click of a mouse - but not all of that content is suitable for children and young people to see. While you may have the appropriate parental controls set up on your computer your child may still be able to access inappropriate material if someone in their social networking circle makes it available to them.
Online grooming
The most distressing threat to a young person's safety on social networking sites is that of online grooming. Sadly the possibilities for anonymity that the Internet offers means that paedophiles use social networking sites and chat rooms to befriend children and teenagers, gaining their trust online with a view to then making actual physical contact with that child.
Once a predator has gained the trust of a child they morph from 'buddy to bully', exposing children to inappropriate sexual imagery and content, and manipulating them into doing what they want.
Identity theft
Identity theft isn't limited to adults and now that more and more children and young people are using the Internet regularly they are becoming more vulnerable to this very serious crime.
The naive posting of personal details on your child's social networking profile leaves them open to online identity theft so it's absolutely vital your child never gives out personal details in any online context, including their address, phone numbers, email, and, if they are older, any bank or credit card information.
Emotional implications
In addition to the above it's worth considering how your child may be impacted emotionally by frequent usage of social networking sites. Some experts have warned that sites such as Facebook and Twitter can have a negative effect on children who are less confident and self-assured, as they can equate their happiness and success as individuals with how many friends they have on Facebook.
Even if a child isn't being bullied as such, they can experience self-esteem issues if their online network isn't as big as their friends, or they have been excluded from a certain online group.
There are also concerns that young people are substituting their online relationships for physical ones, by spending more time in front of the computer than they do in the real world. And by not having to work at friendships, ironing out problems together when they arise – as is the case in the real world (on social networking sites you simply delete someone from your list of friends) – there is a worry that young people are losing their empathy and not developing the social and emotional skills they'll need as adults.
Protecting your child on social networking sites
It would be easy to pull the plug on the home computer after reading the above list of potential threats to your child while using social networking sites. But it's important to consider how online communication in one form or another is shaping our children's future.
According to government statistics back in 2007, 55% of children aged 12-15 who used the Internet at home had created a page or profile on a social networking site, which equates to two in five of all this age group in the UK. Indeed 55% of this group accessed social networking sites at home at least once a week.
Most children and young people will have a positive, enjoyable experience when they access their social networking site. But it's important to supervise your child's activity to an appropriate extent, without your child feeling you are trying to spy on them.
Obviously much will depend on your child's age and it becomes trickier to supervise your child once they reach their teens. But by setting some ground rules on home internet usage and showing some interest and understanding of your child's online activities you'll be helping to ensure their online experiences are as safe and happy as possible.
General tips for parents
- Take a look at some of the social networking sites yourself to get a feel for what they're all about – you'll feel much more comfortable about your child using social networking sites if you understand how they work
- Look at the privacy information or safety tips provided on each social networking site – you'll usually find such information in either the 'about us' sections of websites or in dedicated 'safety' and 'privacy sections
- Engage with your children about their experiences on the Internet, without making it seem like you're snooping on them – this way your child won't feel worried about speaking to you should an issue arise, such as online bullying or being sent inappropriate content
- Set limits on Internet usage at home – it's not a good idea for children to spend inordinate amounts of time in front of a screen, be it TV, games console or computer so make sure you set house rules on how the Internet is to be used at home
- Help your child to feel confident about their place in the online community and make sure that, just as in the real world, it's important they never follow the herd if they're uncomfortable about doing something – peer pressure can make children publish information they may not wish to broadcast, such as the location and date of a forthcoming birthday party
Tips for staying safe on social networking sites
- Ensure your child is the minimum age required to join a social networking site
- Install a tool that allows you to monitor your child's online activity, limit the amount of time they spend online and even block their ability to send out personal information
- Never give out personal details such as addresses or mobile phone numbers on social networking sites
- Don't accept friend requests from people you don't know personally
- Use 'strong' passwords and ensure your child never discloses their password to anyone, even a close friend – a 'strong' password could be a very random mix of letters and characters
- Select the strongest privacy setting when your child is setting up their online profile
- Be selective about uploading images, status updates and messages, even among trusted friends
- Your child should NEVER agree to meet a stranger they've been communicating online with in person
- Make sure your child is aware of the safety functions they can employ when using social networking sites – many of these will have a 'block' function to stop unwanted contact with another user
What if you suspect your child is a victim of online harassment or grooming?
If they or you suspect your child may be the victim of any form of online harassment or grooming, you need to seek help immediately.
Aside from contacting the social networking site itself, serious cases that do not get resolved should be reported to the local police or Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP).
If your child is the victim of any form of harassment or abuse, ensure you keep a record of all communication to pass over to the relevant bodies.
Find out more
For more general information, take a look at our dedicated internet safety page. This includes details about protecting your children more generally on the net, including chatrooms and instant messaging facilities.
It's also worth taking a look at thinkuknow, a site provided by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre which offers comprehensive information about popular websites your child may be accessing. It also provides further Internet safety tips and a place you can report anything you or your child comes across on the web that you or they feel is inappropriate.
If you feel your understanding of website terminology is lacking, take a look at Internet Terms and Language: a guide for parents published on the Directgov website.
