5 things our midwife wants all first time parents to know
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Netmums' official midwife, Marie Louise, reveals the five things she tells all first-time parents ...
Having your first child is an overwhelmingly exciting experience. From the moment you choose to tell friends and family members you'll be swamped with top tips, must-dos, shopping lists, things to try, things not to try, things never to try.
Everyone has an opinion and it can be case of information overload, so we asked Netmums' midwife and new parent herself, Marie-Louise for her expert advice.
Forget everything you might have heard or been told, here are just five things Marie wishes ALL first-time parents knew.
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1. Your body is amazing
If you’re a first time parent, it’s highly likely you haven’t seen how the body works its wonders before. During childbirth, I always tell mums-to-be to trust your own body.
From hormonal changes to increasing your blood volume to how your internal organs adapt, the things your body's done during pregnancy – and is about to do in labour – are nothing short of amazing.
Help is always at hand of course – some women do need some intervention to ensure the best outcome, but the vast majority don’t because pregnancy and birth are normal physiological events that have been happening for centuries!
2. You’re the boss
I always emphasise to new parents the point that ‘you are the birth boss and you call the shots’. No one can do anything to you without your informed consent.
You may well choose to act on recommendations from your health care professionals but never, ever feel you have to. You always have alternatives and, ultimately, it’s your choice to decide what is right for you and your baby.
Just remember to communicate well (in advance) with your birth partner so that they can prompt you and support your wishes when needed, as you may not be fully able to advocate for yourself during labour.
Feeling in control will make your pregnancy, labour and overall birth experience a more positive one, regardless of how you give birth to your baby!
3. Childbirth is nothing like on TV
Rarely is birth portrayed accurately on TV programmes and even in the ‘reality’ shows like ‘One Born Every Minute’, producers have cleverly editing episodes for added drama.
Scenes depicting women laying helplessly on their backs, screaming, panting or yelling at her partner are unhelpful and unrealistic.
In fact, while we're on the topic, lying on your back to give birth can sometimes be the worst position to give birth in. After all, gravity gives a helping hand when we embrace it. It's not always right for every woman but in many cases will help!
4. Chose your birth partner wisely
Your birth partner/s will have a profound impact on your experience, so chose carefully.
Some experts believe you can 'catch emotions', absorbing negativity and fear from those around you. I’ve seen first-hand how someone else’s anxiety can influence a pregnant/birthing woman, leaving her self conscious, anxious and even full of self-doubt.
It’s easy to bow to pressure from relatives, in-laws or close friends who are eager to be present, especially for first time parents. But labour is a time for introversion, and a time to tap into your primal knowledge.
You need to feel confident that your chosen birthing partner will understand, support and respect this process.
5. Use your BRAIN
A great acronym that I always share with my mums-to-be is the ‘BRAIN’ tool!
B = benefits – what are the benefits to accepting or declining what’s on offer?
R = risks – identify them and ask about the absolute risk, rather than the relative risk
A = alternatives – what are they? Which one feels best for you?
I = instinct – check in with your gut instinct (or mumstinct, as I call it) and trust in that.
N = nothing – make space to do nothing and give yourself time to think about your options. Rarely is there a true emergency where by you don’t have at least a few minutes, if not hours or days, to consider things fully.
What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff is a must-read for all expectant parents. Packed full of advice, it has over 15,000 positive reviews on Amazon! See more details here.
A full body pregnancy pillow will keep you comfy at home; during sleeping and relaxing and it can be used to support you during breastfeeding when your baby arrives. See Dunelm's wide variety of pregnancy pillows here.
Are you a first-time parent? Join your due-date club in our forum below to talk to other parents-to-be about all things pregnancy and birth-related ...
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