Mum sparks debate: Is it EVER appropriate for children to swear?

After a mum took to social media to express outrage over her son swearing while gaming, parents have given their own opinion on the matter

Parents have been debating whether or not it is appropriate for their kids to swear.

Taking to social media, a mum explained that her 12-year-old son had been swearing, particularly while gaming, and she wasn't happy with it.

Some parents didn't see anything wrong with their kids swearing, but others felt there is no need for bad language.

This comes as some parents have encouraged the use of bad words through TikTok's 'bathroom challenge'.

• Frankie Bridge's ASOS bag looks just like £300 Marc Jacobs tote
• Almost 1 million people to receive DWP £299 cost of living payment
• Exact date millions will be paid benefits early this month

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Netmums (@netmums)

'Prove me right or wrong'

Posting on Facebook, the mum explained in the 'Family Lowdown tips & ideas' group that her 12-year-old tends to swear.

She says her son doesn't swear at her, but does it while gaming with his friends which she can overhear.

The mum wasn't happy with it. 'I've told him he is not allowed to swear,' she wrote. 'He thinks I'm in the minority and that other kids his age are allowed to swear.'

This left the mum asking the community: 'Please prove me right or wrong, what rules do you have for high school-age children regarding swearing?'

There were mixed reactions from parents in the comments, with some similarly appalled by bad language.

One said: 'We don’t swear so our kids don’t swear! It’s not really necessary whatever age you are! It annoys me when we are out and that’s all you hear!'

'They're just words'

While others were unfazed.

'Possibly controversial but they’re just words, it’s the context behind it that makes them wrong and offensive to others so that’s the bit I'm bothered about,' said one parent.

Another suggested: 'Swearing is part of growing up. If the parents swear around the children I really believe they can’t then tell kids off. So if you don’t swear, he shouldn’t.'

A third voiced their opinion: 'I swear. A lot. It's just language. Just words. He knows not to be cruel, not to swear at people.'

Other parents said that it completely depended on what language was used.

One said: 'As long as you teach the OK swear words and they don't use the awful ones then there's not really no point trying to stop them.'

Another agreed, stating: 'I'd rather they used 'the c word' than, for example, racial slurs.'

@aishaxhader THE END 🤣 #fyp #bathroomchallange #badwordschallenge #toddlersoftiktok ♬ original sound - Aisha & Hader

'Engage in open conversations'

Child psychologist and founder of GoodPlayGuide, Dr Amanda Gummer told Netmums that swearing is a fairly standard part of growing up.

'Swearing in children, particularly around the age of 12, often stems from a desire to assert independence and test boundaries,' she said.

'At this stage, they may be experimenting with language they hear in various contexts, including media and peer interactions.'

She encouraged parents to approach their child's swearing with 'understanding and guidance' rather than 'punitive measures'.

'Engaging in open conversations about the power and impact of words, as well as setting clear expectations for respectful language, can help children navigate this developmental phase,' she said.

'Encouraging swearing'

This comes after some parents have used TikTok to take part in the 'bathroom challenge'.

To take part, parents go in the bathroom with their little ones and tell them they are allowed to swear but only for a minute or so, only in the bathroom, and only when mum or dad leaves the room.

A phone was set up each time to film the outcome.

One little girl whispered the worst word she could think of: 'stupid', while others took it to the extreme, repeating various profanities and telling the camera to 'f*** off b****'.

While some videos showed adorable innocence, some parents worried that this trend was encouraging their little ones to use bad words.

'Language is just letters on a page that have no heat or weight other than what we give as a society'

Meanwhile mum of two and author Emily Murray has told Netmums that she loves swearing in front of her kids.

'When my kids were younger I tried not to swear in front of them because they were too young to understand the nuance of the word and they might have blurted out a swear word in front of their teacher. It’s important to teach your kids manners and how to behave politely – it’s like social lubricant.

‘But as they got older, I’d allow them to overhear me use the word “f***” when having a friendly chat with my husband or a friend. 

'It gave me a platform to talk about how language is just letters on a page that have no heat or weight other than what we give as a society. They're just letters on the page. So then it comes down to how other people hear it.'

Related stories

School's 'discriminatory' prom rule sparks outrage from parents

CHAT: With other parents in our forum

Mum's 'brilliant' hack to get her fussy son to eat his veg