Lawyers offer separated parents advice for agreeing school holiday childcare arrangements

Research by a law firm has found it's really common for there to be friction between ex partners during the school summer holidays

Organising childcare over the long summer holidays can be one of the trickiest times for working parents, both financially and logistically.

And if you are separated, and having to negotiate it all with your ex, it can be ever harder.

Lawyers at Slater and Gordon say in their recent survey of separated mums and dads, 33% of them had rowed over the arrangements.

So what can you do to try to avoid friction with your former partner, and come to an amicable agreement over who looks after the kids (and when) during the school break?

Lawyers at Slater and Gordon advise having a plan...

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Arguments over arrangements

Slater and Gordon's research found that only 5% of separated parents have a formal childcare agreement in place for summer, with 37% saying they have an informal approach with their ex, and 33% saying they co-parented efficiently.

However, the law firm warns that not having a plan in place ahead of the break can often lead to disagreements about where the children will be from one week to the next, and can become even more difficult if one parent wants to take the child or children abroad.

The survey also found that not only had 33 per cent of separated couples argued about the arrangements, but 22 per cent disagreed with how the childcare would be organised.

What are the common issues?

Of the separated mums and dads who took part in the research, 34% said they wished their ex-partner took more responsibility during the school holidays.

Meanwhile, 56% said they were already feeling stressed about the cost of looking after a child this summer.

Taking children away

The issue of where a former partner might take the children was also a huge bone of contention.

Of those polled, 62% said they’d let their ex-partner take their child on holiday, but 8% said they must remain in Europe, and 5% said they wouldn’t let them leave the UK.

And in a move perhaps made to avoid the inevitable rows and heated discussions, 13% of the parents questioned said they have previously taken their child on holiday without seeking permission from their ex partner.

New relationships and kids

Only 42% of those surveyed said they’d let their ex take their child on holiday with their new partner, and only 29% of the separated mums and dads had ever allowed it.

Competitive parenting after separation

Some 13% of the parents questioned also said they’d deny their child going abroad with the other parent if they couldn’t match the experience!

What do the experts have to say?

Georgina Chase, head of practice for family law at Slater and Gordon, said it is 'important that separated couples don’t use child arrangements as a bargaining ploy' and that all negotiations should be in the child’s best interests.

She said: 'Trying to co-parent responsibly and harmoniously is difficult at any time and this can be even harder during the long summer break.

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'Arrangements for children during this time can become problematic and it’s not always easy to share the responsibility equally. Also, if a parent wants to take a child away on holiday – possibly with a new partner – this can create more friction.'

Families on low incomes face significant challenges with childcare during the holidays. @CoramFamChild's newest #HolidayChildcare2023 survey shows that a family will pay on average £943 for 6 weeks of holiday childcare for a school-age child. https://t.co/K7Y7HOAZjc

— Women's Budget Group (@WomensBudgetGrp) July 18, 2023

Draw up a parenting plan

'One way to help mitigate against the potential for future disagreements is to agree child arrangements in advance, entering into a parenting plan,' Georgina advised.

'By doing this, you can amicably agree childcare and holiday time with your ex-partner months before the summer holidays, ensuring both parents are aware and can prepare for what is expected of them.'

This, she says will ensure that 'children have exciting holiday plans with both their parents to look forward to'.

'This not only provides both parents with the additional support they may require during the summer break, but also allows children to spend more time with their parents while they are not in school,' she adds.

Should you get lawyers involved?

Georgina says that working with a specialist family law solicitor or mediator to reach an agreement regarding child arrangements outside of court, often results in a more amicable relationship between separated parents.

She adds that this is also 'much less likely to impact a child negatively.'

Helpful stuff for separated and single parents

If you are planning a break on your own with the kids, we've got loads of helpful info on the best holidays for single parents in this article.

And if you are a solo or divorced mum or dad who is thinking of dipping their toe back into the dating pool, we've got a ton of sage advice and top tips here.

We've also got a whole hub dedicated to news and info specifically for and about single and separated mums and dads - be sure to get it bookmarked and check in often!

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