How to survive the two-week wait
Polly Logan-Banks
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Time never passes more slowly than when you’re waiting for your period to show up – and hoping it doesn’t – or holding on until a pregnancy test can give an accurate result. It's the most agonising and anxiety-filled wait. especially if you've been trying to conceive for a while.
Accept that you’ll be obsessed …
Trying for a baby makes even the most laid-back of us go slightly nuts.
We’ve all stood in front of the mirror half naked, inspecting our boobs for the slightest sign of growth. Or convinced ourselves that we definitely have a heightened sense of smell when, actually, the fridge just needs cleaning out.
When you’re waiting to find out if you’re pregnant, it can be hard to think about anything else, so accept that you’re likely to be a bit distracted over the next couple of weeks.
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Try to push those overwhelming baby thoughts aside when you can. And make it easier on yourself by avoiding potentially stressful baby-related situations; now is probably not the best time to plan a visit to your friend and her newborn.
… but don’t get too obsessed
We know you really, really don’t want your period to show up.
But checking your knickers every 10 minutes is not going to stop it if it’s already on its way.
And if you've done a pregnancy test and think you might have seen a faint line, waiting a few days is more likely to give you a conclusive answer.
Sorry. It's tough but it's true.
Not that that makes it any easier. After all you're on standby for every twinge ...
Act like you’re pregnant ...
This could be your last couple of weeks of freedom before nine months of sobriety, so you’d better make the most of them, right?
Er, wrong.
We hate to be party poopers, but if there’s a chance that you might be pregnant, it’s best to act as if you actually are.
That means that the two-week wait is not the time to go on a weekend-long bender with the girls or eat a year’s worth of pâté in one day. If you do find out you’re pregnant, you’ll only beat yourself up about whether you’ve harmed your baby.
Oh, and while we’re on the subject, don’t forget your daily folic acid.
... but don't wrap yourself in cotton wool
There's really no need to stop doing the things that you normally do on the off-chance that you might be pregnant.
So if you want to keep active, then go for it.
It’s good to keep exercising at a moderate intensity in pregnancy, so if your normal routine includes going for a run, a swim or to the gym, then carry on as usual. Not only will exercise help to distract you from those ‘am I or aren’t I?’ thoughts, but it’ll also help to bust your stress hormones and keep you calm.
PMS? Don’t despair
Mother Nature has a wicked streak, and many of the symptoms of PMS are similar to those of early pregnancy.
Try not to get too despondent if you’re getting signs that your period is on the way. Sore boobs, bloating, spotting and uncontrollable emotions could indicate that Aunt Flo is about to show up, but equally, they could be signs that you’re already pregnant, so don’t jump to any conclusions just yet.
Talk to your partner
You and your other half are in this together, and while they might not understand just how hard the two-week wait can be, they're still the best person to talk to if your emotions are all over the place. If nothing else, they can provide a cup of tea and a therapeutic foot rub (any excuse!).
It’s also a good idea to discuss what you think you’ll need from each other if it turns out that you’re not pregnant – whether that’s lots of cuddles, distraction or just to be left alone.
Have sex for fun
Ooh, look: there’s an attractive person in your bed, and they've got their kit off. It'd be rude not to indulge...
If you’re trying to conceive naturally (rather than IVF), sex often feels like it’s merely a means to an end, or even a chore.
So when your fertile period has passed and you’re waiting to test, take advantage of the pressure being off and have sex just because you want to. It won’t do any harm at all if you’re already pregnant, and hey, it’ll take your mind off things for a while, too.
AND LASTLY ... Don’t test before you’re due
We know, it’s REALLY hard not to test when you’re desperate to see if you’re pregnant.
But although some pregnancy tests claim to give you an early result, there’s absolutely no point testing any more than four days at most before your period is due. All you’ll achieve is a (potentially false) negative – and it’s a waste of money, too.
So, sit on your hands and wait until your period is actually due if at all possible. It’ll give you the best chance of a reliable result.
Deep breaths …
In the meantime...
If you're in need of distractions, we've got plenty to keep you occupied! Why not try some of the following ideas to take your mind off things?
- Indulge in some self care. The two-week wait is an emotional time, so give yourself a bit of extra TLC. That could be anything from booking a hair or nail appointment, to soaking in a warm bath (not too hot if you might be pregnant),
- Find a new box set to binge. Something really good and gripping that'll help take your mind off real life for a few minutes. You could also find a new book to read, or get into a new podcast; whatever helps transport you away from your worries. Just try to steer clear of any baby-related storylines!
- Chat in the Netmums forum. Join your TTC club to share the journey with others going through a similar experience. Or head to our most popular boards to chat about anything and everything as a way to pass the time. You might like our General chat board or Is it normal? – and there's always something interesting happening in Sex and relationships, too! Or browse all our boards to find all the latest gossip.
- Do some gentle exercise. As above, not only will this help get your body into the best shape for pregnancy, but it'll also release those lovely endorphins to help you feel more positive. If you can, spend a bit of time outside; it'll help top up your vitamin D as well as making you feel better.
- Start a project. Got some DIY to do around the house? Or a crafting project you'd love to get stuck into? Maybe you've been meaning to do some spring cleaning, but never got around to it? Well now's the perfect time! It may help to keep your mind from wandering, but if not, at least you'll have something to show for all those hours of thinking.
- Spend time with loved ones. There's no better distraction than your nearest and dearest. Book in plenty of social events for the two-week wait, and it'll go by in half the time! Even a quick catch up for coffee is a great chance to offload your worries and get a bit of perspective. If you already have kids, plan a day out or some fun activities at home to take your mind off things.
- Try meditation or mindfulness. If you can't stop thinking about TTC, a bit of mindfulness may be just what you need to shake off those thoughts and find some balance. Even taking some deep breaths can be surprisingly helpful when you're feeling anxious. Breathe in for a count of three, then out for a count of four or five; this helps trick your body into calming down. Or try our relaxation exercises for coping with anxiety.
- Be kind to yourself! This is an emotional time, and it's completely understandable if you feel a bit wobbly. Don't feel like you have to put on a brave face every minute, and chat about your worries when you can. You'll always find an understanding ear in our TTC forum. And if the wait is really getting to you, and affecting your mental health, you can get extra support in our Maternal Mental Health Drop-In Clinic.
Looking for TTC support? You'll find everything you need in our TTC forum. Or browse our articles below for more information on getting pregnant:
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