How to support your child's mental health during the coronavirus pandemic
Charlotte Grant-West
Netmums contributorThis page contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small amount of money if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase. All our articles and reviews are written independently by the Netmums editorial team.
It's a strange time for kids right now – routines have been disrupted, birthday parties cancelled, and they're seeing much less of family and friends. Here's how to protect their mental health during the pandemic, when to call the doctor and where to get support.
As a parent, it's only natural to be worried about the effect the coronavirus pandemic is having on your kids.
Even if your child hasn't had any mental health concerns before, you might have noticed some behavioural changes since the pandemic began.
Social distancing and big changes to their daily routines, such as long periods off school or nursery, can all affect how they feel.
While kids' reactions can vary depending on their levels of understanding and how they usually respond to stress, it's only normal for the changes to be impacting them in some way.
You may find their sleep is disrupted, they're quieter than usual, are worrying about the virus or suffering physical symptoms such as tummy ache.
The NHS says most of these issues will gradually ease. But there are ways you can help protect your child's emotional wellbeing and mental health, too.
Here's how coronavirus could affect your child, how you can help them cope with their feelings and protect their mental health, when you should contact your GP, and where to get further advice and support.
How can the coronavirus pandemic affect kids' mental health?
Every child is different and reacts to situations in different ways. However, government guidance says there are some common ways different age groups could be affected:
Babies and toddlers
Babies and toddlers might become upset and distressed more easily. This means they might cry more, be clingier than usual and want to be held more often.
3- to 6-year-olds
Nursery-age children, preschoolers and younger school children might have more tantrums and difficulty sleeping.
They might revert to behaviour they've outgrown. This could include separation anxiety, bedwetting and having toilet accidents.
7- to 11-year olds
Older primary-school kids could feel sad, angry, or scared. They might hear false information in the playground that worries them and want to talk about coronavirus all the time – or not at all. They might also have trouble concentrating.
Preteens and teenagers
Some preteens and teenagers can be overwhelmed by their feelings. They might not want to leave the house, see friends as much as usual, or talk about how they're feeling.
They could argue and fight with siblings and family more, and may be worried about how changes around exams and missing school will affect them.
Some preteens and teenagers may turn to alcohol, drugs or antisocial behaviour.
How to protect your child's mental health during the coronavirus pandemic
1. Look after yourself!
As well as concentrating on your kids, it's important to look after your own mental wellbeing during the pandemic.
'I often find that children only get stressed out when parents get stressed out,' says Netmums' official psychologist Linda Blair.
'Although it might not feel like it, your mental health is the key to your kids' mental health. It’s definitely not selfish to take time out for yourself.'
So make time to have a long bath, go for a walk in the fresh air, read a book or do your favourite exercise class.
You'll find more information about looking after your own mental health here.
2. Have a routine
Many kids have had long periods of time at home during the pandemic, and are now returning to schools and childcare. For most of them there have been big changes to their routines.
'Kids crave routine,' says Linda. 'Shaking things up can make them agitated.'
Routines make kids feel secure so try not to make too many changes to bedtime or let them eat too many treats if they have periods off school.
If you're self-isolating or shielding, plan out a weekly routine that includes education, play, exercise and healthy eating.
3. Listen
The NHS recommends regularly asking your kids how they're doing and talking about their feelings. That way they'll know there's always someone who'll listen to them if they want to talk.
When they share their thoughts, acknowledge how they're feeling and show them extra love and support if they need it.
If you find it difficult to start a conversation, take 20 minutes or so to do an activity you both enjoy such as baking, drawing a picture together or going for a walk. This will create a relaxed atmosphere, making it easier to talk.
Car rides can also be an excellent chance to have an in-depth chat, especially with tweens and teens who are reluctant to open up.
Mental health charity Young Minds has some great advice about starting conversations with kids.
4. Give them clear information
Kids pick up all kinds of information and theories about coronavirus in the playground, as well as listening into adult conversations and catching snippets of the news on TV.
The government advises talking to kids about what they've heard and answering any questions honestly using words they can understand.
Take what they say seriously. Explain how they can help by washing their hands regularly. And tell them what is being done to keep them and everybody they love safe.
Make sure you get your COVID-19 information from reputable sources such as the NHS coronavirus webpages and GOV.UK.
You'll find more useful tips and advice in our guide to talking to your child about coronavirus.
5. Monitor your own response
Kids often mirror adults' emotions. So if you're feeling stressed or worried about the pandemic, they'll pick up on this and could feel anxious, too.
'Children often cope with whatever comes their way as long as the people that make them feel safe (ie you!) are coping and are there for them,' says Linda.
Try and remain calm when talking about COVID-19 to reduce their anxiety.
6. Encourage them to do things they enjoy
Whatever our age, having hobbies and doing things we enjoy is important for our mental health.
Craft activities, reading or taking part in sports can all help kids feel good and take their mind off any stresses or worries they might have.
7. Help them stay connected
If COVID-19 restrictions mean your child can't see some of their friends and family, or join in with their usual clubs and activities, reduce feelings of loneliness by finding safe ways to connect.
This could be through phone calls, online video calls, emails or even writing letters.
8. Support them through difficult feelings
All children deal with their feelings in different ways. For some, their coping mechanisms can lead to challenging behaviour.
'Always make sure children feel safe while they're going through whatever they're going through,' says Linda. 'If they're having a tantrum, be there to support them after.'
The NHS advises paying attention to kids' emotions and helping them work through difficulties. If they're angry or having a tantrum, try to help them understand how they're feeling and why they're feeling that way.
No Worries! by Dr. Sharie Coombes is an activity book for children who sometimes feel anxious or stressed. See more details here at Amazon.
9. Stay active
It's really important for kids to stay active during the pandemic, whether that's going for a walk in the park, playing a game of football or having a runaround with friends.
Exercise and getting outdoors are important for physical health but they have mental benefits, too. Physical activity and learning new skills, such as shooting a basketball or perfecting a cartwheel, can help kids feel better about themselves, take their mind off worries and boost their mood.
When should I be worried about my child's mental health during the pandemic?
Most kids will feel angry, low or anxious at times during the pandemic. But if these feelings last for longer than a couple of weeks, or are affecting your child's day-to-day life, talk to your GP.
The NHS says that around one in eight children and young people will have a behavioural or emotional problem growing up. Some will get better on their own and some will need extra support.
Signs to look out for include:
- significant changes in behaviour including more tantrums than usual
- difficulty sleeping or ongoing nightmares
- withdrawing from social situations and not wanting to see friends
- not doing things they usually enjoy
- self-harm or neglecting themselves
Remember, you know your child best. If you're at all worried call your GP or contact one of the helplines below.
If you think your child could be in immediate danger, call 999.
What if my child already has a mental health condition?
Children with existing mental health issues may need extra support during the pandemic. If you are concerned, speak to your child's mental health team or GP.
Help, support and advice for child mental health during coronavirus
The following websites and helplines all offer help, support and useful information:
Netmums Parent Supporters Drop-In Clinic
The Netmums forum has a board dedicated to child mental health where you can chat to other parents about your experiences. The board is manned by trained Parent Supporters who can offer support and advice between 9am and 12 noon, and 7pm and 10pm every day.
Young Minds
A mental health charity for children and young people, Young Minds has a free parents' helpline 0808 802 5544, webchat and email service where you can get detailed advice and emotional support.
Family Lives
Family Lives is a confidential helpline providing support, advice and information on any aspect of parenting in England and Wales 0808 800 2222.
In Scotland call Parentline Scotland, 08000 28 22 33.
In Northern Ireland call Parentline Northern Ireland, 0808 802 0400.
Childline
If your child wants to talk to someone themselves, they can call Childline on 0800 1111, chat to a counsellor online or send an email. They can also talk to other children and young people on the message boards.
If you're worried about your child's mental health, chat to other parents or contact our trained Parent Supporters via the dedicated forum below …
Related stories
