Essential things I’ve learnt since becoming a parent

From the joy of envelope-neck tops to bedtime snuggles, a mum shares the lessons she’s learned about parenthood …

We hear a lot about the things we should and shouldn't do as new mums. We can rack up loads of 'helpful' advice. Here though, one new mum (who prefers to remain anonymous for fear of offending well-intended advice-givers) shares the stuff you really need to know as a new mother.

1 Babies don’t need 'night' and 'day' clothes

It's fun to shop for cute little baby outfits ... they're just adorable! But it's also – as I have come to realise – completely unnecessary.

I spent the first few weeks endlessly changing my newborn into various matching outfits and hats during the day, then into pyjamas at ‘bedtime’. He didn’t even know the difference between day and night (and frankly neither did I).

What was I thinking? Since that moment, he was dressed in sleepsuits/onesie/all-in-one at any time of day or night. Practical, easy to put on, easy to take off. Sorted!

2 Fairy 'Dream Team' is your laundry go-to

A surprising fact you'll learn as a new parent is that baby skin is 30% thinner than ours (who knew?!). So using harsh soaps or detergents is a total no-no.

Switching to Fairy Non Bio Sensitive Skin Dream Team is a must ... and it's a laundry brand other parents LOVE. Which is a win: you'll want to be doing your laundry right since you're now doing so much of it!

Voted the number 1 brand for sensitive skin*, the whole Fairy laundry range has been dermatologically tested and endorsed by the Skin Health Alliance. Which basically means it's suitable for newborns, older babies and children, gently cleaning clothes and leaving everything huggably soft.

Add it to your weekly shop, and job done!

3 Three cheers for envelope-neck vests

While we’re on the subject of clothes, let’s hear it for envelope-neck tops.

When those up-the-back poos happen, you can ease little arms through the top of those necks and pull the whole thing down and off, rather than smearing poo all over your baby's head and hair.

I had to see that on Facebook before I realised.

4 Ditch the guilt

CBeebies was not going to be a parent to my child; I wouldn’t be one of those mums who let their baby eat stuff in the supermarket trolley; only home-cooked meals would pass my child’s lips. Ah, the promises we make ourselves.

What I have learnt is that we mums need to give ourselves a break. Eating rice cakes in the trolley keeps our little one happy and means I can concentrate on the shopping list (and less wine gets put through the checkout).

Home-cooked is great, but those little pouches are a life-saver when you’re out and about, and the jars are perfect for when you just want a break at home.

And when my 4-year-old talks about the deepest part of the ocean being the Mariana Trench, let’s just say I’m pretty sure it’s Captain Barnacles, not me, who's taught him that.

5 They don’t need hundreds of toys

It’s easy to get swept up into thinking your baby’s IQ will be stunted if you don’t invest in those black and white toys/flashing activity centres/organic wooden teethers.

The truth is that you are your baby’s best playmate. This comes with its own catch (Wheels On The Bus will be your ear-worm for quite some time). But it also has its own rewards. That gurgle and smile when you play peekaboo is heart-melting.

Babies are happy just banging on saucepans and playing with wooden spoons. Of course, as your baby gets a bit bigger, you’ll also find that no expensive toy that you buy will be quite as desirable as your car keys and smartphone.

6 You can decipher crying

It can all seem so overwhelming in those first few weeks and you worry that you’ll never understand what’s making your baby cry. ‘Is that a hungry cry or tired cry?’ you’ll ask your bleary-eyed partner.

You’ll consult books and tables that talk about different pitches and squeaks – and you’ll still be clueless.

Put the books away – you don’t need them. As unlikely as it may seem now, you will very quickly learn to understand what your baby wants from you.

And as their ability to make different noises increases, you’ll wonder how you ever puzzled over it at all.

And then your baby will cry … for no reason at all. Just because he or she can.

7 Don’t rush bedtime

The Witching Hour. The Twilight Zone. The When Will It Be Time For Wine?

Whatever you call it, that time late afternoon/early evening arrives, when however lovely your day has been, everyone is suddenly tired, irritable and prone to tears.

The trick is to start the bedtime routine before your baby begins to feel like this – and also, importantly, before you do!

Take your time, dim the lights, have a gentle splash in the bath (it’s lovely having a bath together if there’s someone available to help you both out), read a story and, most importantly, have a cuddle and snuggle with your little bundle. These are precious moments.

8 You will feel the fear

I spent 9 months of pregnancy accompanied by a background feeling of anxiety – I thought it would go just as soon as my baby was born and I knew everything was OK.

Then he arrived, and a whole new level of anxiety emerged. I worried he wasn’t sleeping enough, I worried he was sleeping too much. Why does he take so long feeding; why was that feed so quick?

And then there was the checking on him Every. Other. Minute. The good news is that these new-mum panics do subside – but the bad news came from my mum. ‘Darling, I still worry about you.’

Head to our Laundry Room hub for more expert tips for washing your family's clothes.

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