Mental health child
5 answers /
Last post: 23/02/2024 at 8:24 pm
I went to early help and now regret it. As people say it's social services. But my son has been hitting his head and lately big arguing with his brother who winds him up. Fight today and then he cries distressed and Anger. He was suicidal in October but only had basic prevention one to one not high chams. They didn't refer him as said he was not going to kill himself. Then he said he felt better a bit in Dec. Now his anger is still there and the deep trauma hasn't been talked of. I look at bipolar and worry. The school said to stop worrying!! And the smash practitioner as they said I cause emotional harm! As I ask how he is and have anxiety. He has said things like I wonder what this dart will do if I throw it. And I wonder if I'll hurt myself with my chain. I told smash in Dec. They said I need social worker!! I said no..I'm worried for my son he needs chams assessment. They refused as he presents ok to them...
So I have been v scared not to tell them whole truth or his anger with Mr at home. Dad has been saying I'm to blame that nothing happens at his house. It was in a meeting in school he said it. Then he's been seeing my oldest boy telling him my youngest never is rude to him!! Covering his basses if social come. But he is abusive and took my oldest son in 2020 for four months. It was hell. I got social but they did nothing. I had my younges son missing him. So all his anger may come from that or ... But I look at bipolar....my son said he doesn't feel right and said he's got ADHD. School said no . I went into school the week he said he wanted to kill himself if I didn't stop going on about doing homework. I was shocked. Hurt. Devasted. His dad had gone to Spain that week and he wasn't happy. As he wanted to go but have never gone.
I can't afford it
His dad bought him a concert ticket to see rap band full of vile words . He went in summer with a parent and I didn't realise how horrid the lyrics are. It altered his behaviour and mental state. And there my ex denying it and getting him another concert ticket !
Saying " he wants to go with me ".. he was going to just drop him off alone with a girl under age. When I rang him my son said " do you want to talk to her" meaning me. So lots of manipulation like he tried on first son.
Any advice. Thanks.
I worry about it all as smash said they would call social as I said my son was doing the dart thing thinking and they write it down wrong saying he threw a dart at me which he didn't. I asked them to change that .
Hi Sal T,
I'm Loraine, one of the Netmums' Parent Supporters.
Gosh you have been through a lot recently - sending gentle hugs your way this evening.
I hope you don't mind, but the parent supporter team, work in the drop in clinic every morning and evening, so I've asked the moderators to move your thread across to our child mental health board, so that we can continue to chat to you there.
So it sounds like you've tried to get a lot of support in place, but I'm a bit confused about who is saying that you don't need a camhs assessment - is it the school or the smash practitioner or someone else? Have you tried chatting to your GP about how things are for your son, but also for you - all of this must be taking it's toll on your own mental health and well being - is that a fair assumption Sal?
Young Minds are a charity who specialise in child mental health and are an excellent source of support. They have a parent helpline where you can speak with a trained support worker if you're concerned about your child's behaviour and mental health. They can talk to you about what support is accessible to you. You can find out more at: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/
It sounds like your relationship with your ex isn't helping the situation and I'm wondering if you could get a 3rd party to deal with him regarding the contact arrangements? Is there someone else who could liaise with him about any arrangements/issues with the school?
You've raised lots of different issues in your post Sal, but hopefully some of the above will help - you've done the right thing by reaching out and you don't have to deal with all of this on your own.
Come back and tell us what advice/information you've had and we'll try to support you in any way we can.
Loraine x
Hi Sal,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic Child mental health board, so you can get the advice and support you need
How old are your children
Did you talk to your son why he feels the way he feels?
Can you arrange to go out with your children somewhere like to the park or library or swimming where you just focus on them once a month/week whatever you can do?
Also can you spend equal amounts of time with both children like for 15 minutes in the house everyday?
