Out of control teenager
9 answers /
Last post: 01/02/2024 at 11:42 pm
Hi,
I'm new here and I'm looking for some advice my 13 year old daughter is out of control and I don't know what to do.
She doesn't listen to me and it doesn't matter how much you discipline her she dosent care. She doesn't go to school and school have tried everything to get her back but nothing working. She swears at me and is very physically abusive towards me, she has pulled my hair, hit me and also kicked holes in doors in my house and has throw stuff at me and about the house. Her school have tried to help with sending a referral to social workers but social workers say I don't need help. She has been under Cahms for the past 4 year as she getting tested for ADHD and Autism. I honestly don't know what to do. Even the school don't know were to go now with her....
Hi Alexis
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. I've asked for your post to be moved into our drop in clinic where I think you may get more support. Sorry to hear how tough things are. Could social services signpost you to other supports? Are CAMHS able to offer any advice or strategies whilst they explore Autism and ADHD? Young Minds have some useful resources on their website and also a Parent Helpline. Here is the link : ADHD and Mental Health | Signs and Symptoms of ADHD | YoungMinds
In the meantime, do you have anyone to support you or give you a break? It sounds like things are really hard and it's important your needs aren't lost too.
Hopefully some of our community will be along to offer support. We are here to listen if you want to chat some more.
Catherine
Hi Alexis
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. I've asked for your post to be moved into our drop in clinic where I think you may get more support. Sorry to hear how tough things are. Could social services signpost you to other supports? Are CAMHS able to offer any advice or strategies whilst they explore Autism and ADHD? Young Minds have some useful resources on their website and also a Parent Helpline. Here is the link : ADHD and Mental Health | Signs and Symptoms of ADHD | YoungMinds
In the meantime, do you have anyone to support you or give you a break? It sounds like things are really hard and it's important your needs aren't lost too.
Hopefully some of our community will be along to offer support. We are here to listen if you want to chat some more.
Catherine
Hi Catherine, pop
The only support I get just know is the help for my daughter school they have tried everything and they have also referred my daughter to the child reporter to see if that would get me help but nope social services say I don't need help. The only time I have time to myself is when she out with her friends and with family and when she does go to school.
Cahms has gave me a website to look at NEST and there a few workshops that I've signed up through that website. I will have a look at young minds thank you.
Hi Alexis,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic Child mental health board, so you can get the advice and support you need.
I think myself and you have a great deal in common would lobe to hace a chat with you x
What does she enjoy doing? Or has she had any hobbies in the past?
is there a specific trigger for her behaviour?
Have you looked at things like l-tyrosine and l-theanine to help promote dopamine?
I think myself and you have a great deal in common would lobe to hace a chat with you x
Hi thanks for you message..Aww have we? Yes, I'm up for talking with you. x
What does she enjoy doing? Or has she had any hobbies in the past?
is there a specific trigger for her behaviour?
Have you looked at things like l-tyrosine and l-theanine to help promote dopamine?
She like board games which I play with her and your typically teen She love make up and her phone. She use to go to swimming lessons but she completed the full course but she not been very interested in anything else.
I haven't notice any trigger for her behaviour just when she doesn't want to do something or I tell her she not going someone etc
What is I-tyrosine and I-theanine as I've never heard of them.
Thank you
She like board games which I play with her and your typically teen She love make up and her phone. She use to go to swimming lessons but she completed the full course but she not been very interested in anything else.
I haven't notice any trigger for her behaviour just when she doesn't want to do something or I tell her she not going someone etc
What is I-tyrosine and I-theanine as I've never heard of them.
Thank you
They’re supplements that can help with dopamine. It’s also worth looking at diet (hard with a teenager I’m sure!!) but protein is huge!
Could you take her swimming more often? Any task that increases dopamine might help.
Can she identify why she is so angry? I’m not sure I could have when I was 13 to be honest. Maybe try a rage journal so you can see why she is so sad. She can write what is worrying her or angering her and it may help to open an outlet so you know why she is so angry.
I know it’s sooooooooo hard as a parent to deal with it. But 9 times out of 10 the behaviour is because of something. I’m talking from the perspective of a child whose needs weren’t recognised AND an adult who was recently diagnosed and still struggling. Im currently dealing with various neurospicy needs from my four boys. Each one is different 😂🤯
I hadn’t even considered it until two years ago but have you ever wondered if you might also be neurospicy? Are your moments of overwhelm maybe due to neurospicyness? I’m saying this with kindness. Our kids have these issues from somewhere. There is a huge amount of ppl who were undiagnosed as kids.
Maybe try to note everything as an ABC chart. A-antecedent……trigger
B-behaviour………how did they kick off
C-consequence………the result
