Child neglect: what it is and how to spot the signs

What does child neglect really mean, and what should you do if you think a child is being neglected? Learn all you need to know about physical, emotional, medical and educational neglect.

Neglect is the most common form of child mistreatment in the UK. According to the charity Action for Children, almost one in 10 UK children experience some form of neglect.

In spite of this, many of us don’t really understand what neglect really means. Does having a messy house count? What about if your child gets sunburn? And what should you do if you think someone else’s child is being neglected?

We reviewed the expert advice to bring you this definitive guide to child neglect.

If you would like a more in-depth, lengthy read about this important issue, we highly recommend the book Child Neglect: Identification and Assessment, by Jan Horwath, which is available at Amazon for £13.99.

What is child neglect?

Child neglect happens when a parent or guardian doesn’t meet a child’s basic needs, such as food, clothing, healthcare and housing. These days, it’s also considered to include a failure to meet emotional and educational needs.

Neglect can also be defined as a failure to prevent harm (physical or mental) from coming to a child.

It’s different from abuse, which means deliberately causing physical or mental harm, including sexual abuse.

Netmums’ official psychologist, Linda Blair, explains: ‘a good way to distinguish between the two is to think of neglect as a failure to provide what’s needed, whereas abuse is an intentional harmful action’.

According to the NSPCC, there are four main types of child neglect:

1. Physical neglect
2. Emotional neglect
3. Medical neglect
4. Educational neglect

What is physical neglect?

Physical neglect means that a child’s most basic physical needs have not been met. This could include a failure to provide:

A safe place to live

This doesn’t just mean having a roof over your child’s head – the house has to be safe and appropriate for children.

For example, a badly maintained house with no insulation and damp problems could be hazardous to a child’s health. The same goes for a lack of heating and electricity.

Usually, a messy house doesn’t mean neglect. However, if the mess reaches a level where it could endanger a child, it then becomes a problem.

For example, if there are dirty nappies everywhere which could make a child ill, or lots of unsafe objects that a young child could easily hurt themselves on, such as sharp knives left lying within easy reach. 

Adequate supervision

The law isn’t 100% clear on what counts as adequate supervision. It’s obvious that young children need to be supervised at all times, but when does leaving an older child count as neglect?

The official line is that it depends on the child. If a child isn’t mature enough to stay at home, or go out, on their own without putting themselves at risk of harm, then they should be accompanied by a responsible adult.

The NSPCC has the following recommendations for what’s generally safe:

• Babies and toddlers should never be left alone.
• Children under 12 years old shouldn't be left home alone for long.
• Children under 16 years old shouldn't be left alone overnight.
• Over 16 year olds shouldn't be left alone frequently for long periods of time or for multiple nights. 

Inadequate supervision can also happen if a child is left with an adult who can’t care for them properly, for example if the person caring for them is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or suffering from a severe mental illness.

Healthy food

A lack of healthy food is sometimes known as ‘nutritional neglect’. It’s usually taken to mean a failure to ensure that a child gets enough calories and nutrients to grow healthily. However, some experts have suggested that extreme obesity could also be classed as neglect in certain circumstances. 

Clean clothes

Of course, kids naturally get mucky throughout the day, so a bit of paint or spaghetti sauce on your kids’ clothes is perfectly fine. But a child who is regularly dressed in dirty, smelly, ill-fitting or seasonally inappropriate clothes could be suffering from neglect. 

In babies, a failure to change nappies regularly – to the point where it causes very severe, untreated nappy rash - can also count as neglect.

What is emotional neglect?

Emotional neglect happens when a child isn’t given the care and attention they need for healthy emotional development. Talking to and playing with children is essential for helping them develop into healthy, happy adults.

Of course, you don’t need to be playing with your child every minute of the day. In fact, hovering over a child at all times is called ‘over surveillance’, and can make it difficult for them to become independent as they grow.

However, a child who is always left to their own devices, or feels as if they are never listened to, could become distressed or be vulnerable to accidental injury. They may also develop mental health issues in later life.

The key is to strike a balance. There’s no set amount of time you should spend with your child each day. But be sure to check in with them often, and spend quality time together when you can. 

Linda adds: ‘Another important phrase here is “age appropriate” care and attention. Babies need constant supervision; but as they grow and develop, a good parent steps back just enough to encourage their child to gain independence skills and become increasingly self-confident. It’s a constant balancing act.’

What is medical neglect?

As the name implies, medical neglect means failing to make sure that a child gets the healthcare they need. Most obviously, this can mean not getting medical help for a child who’s badly injured or very unwell.

However, medical neglect can also mean ignoring any specific advice or prescriptions doctors have given for a child. It also includes failing to look after a child’s teeth, or take them to a dentist.

Some religious organisations have objections to certain medical procedures, such as blood transfusions. However, if a procedure is considered medically necessary for a child, the courts can overrule any objections from parents or guardians.

What is educational neglect?

Every child has a right to an education. This doesn’t necessarily have to be mainstream education – home schooling is also a possibility – but it does have to meet certain standards.

From the age of five, if a child isn’t attending mainstream school regularly, the council has the power to request information about their education from their parents or guardians. If the education is deemed to be substandard, they can issue an order for the child to attend mainstream school.

What are the signs of child neglect?

Child neglect can be difficult to identify. If you notice one of the following signs, it doesn’t necessarily mean that a child is neglected. But if multiple signs appear over a sustained period, it could be a cause for concern.

Possible signs of neglect in children include:

• Poor personal hygiene, including unbrushed teeth and unwashed clothes. In babies, infrequent nappy changes can lead to severe nappy rash.
• Being very thin or hungry, not growing at the expected rate, or not having money for food. Children who aren’t getting enough to eat may also steal or hoard food.
• Wearing ill-fitting, dirty, extremely worn or inappropriate clothes.
• Being frequently ill, or missing medical or dental appointments. Neglected children may also have skin issues such as rashes or flea bites. In summer, they may suffer from frequent or severe sunburn.
• Frequent accidental injuries, often due to a lack of supervision. Injuries may also not be treated appropriately.
• Poor language development or social skills for their age.
• Often being more tired than other children, perhaps due to a lack of a regular bedtime.
• Changes in behaviour, such as becoming unusually clingy, aggressive or withdrawn.
• Seeming disengaged or apathetic, for example not wanting to play or not enjoying parties or other fun activities.
• Often missing school or showing up late with no explanation.
• Describing their home environment as dangerous or unsuitable, for example if they say there’s no heating.
• Talking about being left alone for long periods of time.
• Mentioning that they’re caring for their parents or siblings.
• In older children: self-harming or using drugs or alcohol.

Linda adds: ‘These behaviours usually don’t appear on their own - a neglected child will probably show several of these signs - and the behaviours must be frequent and persist over time.’

How does neglect affect children?

Neglect has a range of potential short-term and long-term effects on children, including:

• Ill health or injuries.
• Poor physical development.
• Problems with mental health and self-esteem, such as feeing sad, depressed, anxious or angry.
• Difficulty creating and maintaining friendships and other relationships.
• Struggle with school work, or with employment in later life.
• Acting out, such as running away from home or engaging in risky behaviours.
• A greater risk of self-harm, eating disorders, risky sexual behaviour, substance abuse and sadly even suicide.

This may all sound scary, but Linda points out: ‘the good news is that humans are incredibly resilient. Consistent loving care can’t erase a child’s history, but it can allow a neglected child to begin to trust that those around them will respond positively if they ask for help, and that in turn will allow them to begin again to develop and prosper.’

I think a child is being neglected. What should I do?

If you’re worried about a child, the government recommends contacting their local council. You can find the right contact details here. The report can be anonymous if you wish.

The government adds: 'You don’t need to be sure that a child or young person has been abused - it’s OK to report a suspicion.'

However, if you'd prefer to discuss your thoughts with someone else first, the government recommends contacting the NSPCC. They can talk the situation through with you, and decide what the next steps should be.

You can call the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000. Lines are open 8am-10pm Mon-Fri and 9am-6pm on weekends. You can also email help@nspcc.org.uk or use their online form. If you prefer, you can remain anonymous.

The NSPCC also has this advice: ‘It's normal to feel anxious, nervous or unsure about getting in touch with us. We're here to help and take that worry from you. Letting us know you're worried about a child could be the first step to helping protect them from a lifetime of abuse and neglect.’

If a child comes to talk to you about neglect, the NSPCC offers these tips:

• listen carefully to what they're saying
• let them know they've done the right thing by telling you
• tell them it's not their fault
• say you'll take them seriously
• don't confront the alleged neglectful parent or guardian
• explain what you'll do next
• report what the child has told you [using the contact details above] as soon as possible

Remember, if you have any concerns, it's always best to report them, just in case. You could be saving a child's life.

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