Advice - mum ignoring me because bought little girls communion dress without her
6 answers /
Last post: 24/02/2024 at 1:24 am
Help! I think I am in the right but would love some feedback. I am a 48 year old mother of two. This year my little girl is making her communion. My mother went with some of my other siblings to buy communion outfits but my husband wanted to come with me to buy communion outfit for my little girl. I spoke to my mother about this and she told me she was happy to have a day out after to buy shoes and accessories. Last week we went away for couple of days and went communion dress shopping. Got the dress. Sent my Mam a pic of little girl in the back of the car with her package saying "she said yes to the dress". Then it started about how hurt she was that she didn't know we were going communion dress shopping, she didnt get to speak to my little girl, why I didn't video call her. To be honest it I genuinely didn't even think. We were completely caught up in our own little family, having a really special day. The last message I received is that I have broken her heart. I have rang many times and sent texts but she is completely ignoring me. I am now really hurt by her and she is turning what was something really magical in to a bad memory. Am I in the wrong or is she being totally irrational. I have apologised to her and said that I wish I could turn back the clock and video call her but I didn't even think but that I would never hurt her on purpose - to this no reply. Any opinions would be appreciated.
Sounds like your mother is being a child here & should grow up. Yes of course she's gonna feel hurt but it was a special day between you & your daughter. She should now really get over herself as it's already in the past.
Text her & say I understand it hurt but it was a spur of the moment mother & daughter thing. That it's happened there's nothing you can do about it now & you all need to move on. Then invite her shoe shopping maybe go for a spot of lunch after. Leave the ball in her court.
Your mum needs to get over it.
hi, you are definitely not in the wrong here! You have your own little family now and you are not a mind reader. If your mum wanted to talk to your little girl beforehand or see a video, she could have made this request when you discussed shopping for the shoes. You have still included her but unfortunately with some parents, nothing is ever good enough...
Honestly, your mother needs to grow up. To say her heart is broken over a dress is plain horrible and manipulative.
I really do sympathise as I had years of this sort of nonsense from my own mother (and father. Both churchgoers who you would think should know better). They managed to spoil all sorts of special events for us over the years.
Stop apologising now and make sure you do not pander to her in the future if you find her behaving in a similar way. You've apologised for unintentionally upsetting her. The ball is in her court now.
Yes absolutely over reaction, over a dress, first world problems, while across the world!
I would be blunt to her tbh i informed you we were buying her dress and we would go with you shoe and accessories shopping which you were happy with when i told you and we were looking forward to this there is no need for you to ruin our special memory of buying her first dress you had your firsts with me and my siblings it is know my turn i include you in way more than a alot of others get im sorry you are upset but it does not change what has already happened We have bought her dress whether you are happy or not i will not communicate with you anymore until you are ready to contact me like the grown ups we are.
Some of these grandparents are something else why are they like toddlers instead of grown adults they would never have tolerated this from their parents. Do not let her ruin your memories.
It's about you and your partner and your kids. She's being very childish it's nothing to do with her
