I am 42, sad and anxious
5 answers /
Last post: 07/02/2024 at 11:44 am
I've had a horrible week and today was particularly hard at work, with me fighting back tears during a telephone appointment to the GP to talk about the health anxiety I seem to have developed since my dad died in October.
A few weeks ago I was doing okay. But today I've been on the brink of tears all day. My anxiety was severe and I struggled to talk to colleagues or focus on what I was doing.
I was crying before I even left the house this morning over something ridiculously small between myself and my husband.
Is this grief related? I was estranged from my dad for 20 years and was prevented from going to the funeral or even knowing where he was buried. So my feelings aren't the usual kind that you might get with the death of a loved one.
I just feel so sad and meaningless. I feel boring and worthless. I have lots to be grateful for and I am, but I also just feel very at odds with other people and unloved. The GP was so kind to me on the phone it just made me more upset. I feel very small.
What is wrong with me?
Hi Sarah
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Sorry to hear how tough things are feeling at the moment - sending you a gentle hug this morning. Please be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you are noticing your mood has dipped and you are feeling more anxious but you are also trying to keep life ticking over by going to work too. Would you consider taking some time off? Sarah, it's really positive you've been able to reach out to your GP for some advice - were they able to offer any suggestions for support? Grief affects everyone differently and when relationships are complicated, it can impact us unexpectedly. Would it help to have someone to neutral to talk such as counsellor? Cruse offer counselling specific to bereavements and loss. I'll link their website here: Get support - Cruse Bereavement Support Your GP can also refer you for counselling too.
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon to offer support but please come back to us if you would like to chat some more.
Catherine
Hi, sending virtual hugs it’s all clearly a lot to deal with. You say you & your father was estranged, even with that you have every right to greve & it’s also cruel that you wasn’t allowed to his funeral. Could you get counselling to help you deal with all this? I’m sure your family love you & wouldn’t want you feeling unloved, what makes you feel boring? & could you get support from your family for the way you are feeling. I truly wish you the best & hope you get all the support you need.
Big hugs Sarah. You've been through a lot.
Given your age could be worth looking into early perimenopause
Xx
You mentioned health anxiety has been a struggle for you since your dad's passing. Anxiety can manifest physically and emotionally, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming.
It might be helpful to look into resources that provide strategies to cope with these feelings. For example, GoCalmer offers some insights on how to deal with anxiety without medication. It might give you some starting points for managing day-to-day anxieties and finding a bit of tranquility. The one I recommend is psychotherapy, one of the best treatments for anxiety. Your GP can refer you for it.
It's okay to feel the way you're feeling. Grief can isolate us, but reaching out like you're doing now is an important step.
