My fault my daughter needs glassed and i feel terrible!
17 answers /
Last post: 20/01/2024 at 11:10 am
My 11 year old daughter has never had any problems with her eyes she has never complained about headaches or anything that concerning, none of our families either side wear glasses so I naively never had her eyes checked, she said she wanted to go for an eye test just for the experience because she see it on a show, we go for the eye test me thinking she had 20/20 vision! And to my total shock when they tested her left eye she got a lot of the letters incorrect I was filled with absolute guilt and dread, she has a lazy left eye and because of her age it’s too late to try and correct it as this needs to begin at around age 7! So she now needs glasses for reading and I feel like the worlds worst parent I keep crying, I can’t believe I never had her eyes tested sooner, they told me this could of been caused during child birth as forceps was used but I was totally unaware of this and was never told, she has never shown any symptoms of a lazy eye, she is absolutely fine about it but the guilt I’m feeling im really struggling to deal with it, im her mother and i never done a simple thing like have an eye test, I’ve totally let her down and i cannot forgive myself for it, i burst out crying when we come out and i said I’m so sorry i should of taken you sooner :( don’t even know why I’m putting this here but had to get it of my chest and hopefully make someone else aware and get your child’s eyes check
no matter what symptoms or not.
Hi Harley,
I'm Loraine, one of the Netmums' Parent Supporters.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about your daughter needing reading glasses - sending gentle hugs your way this morning.
Harley, as you've said yourself, there was no reason at all for you to think that your daughter had any problems with her eyesight and also, her teachers would have picked up on it if it had been obvious, so try not to be so hard on yourself.
Most parents will tell you that having children comes with a built in guilt complex, so if anything, your reaction shows what a loving caring mother you are. The important thing is, she has now been tested and her reading glasses should help her to read more clearly.
Hopefully, some of our lovely netmums' members will drop by soon and share their experience and advice with you.
Best Wishes.
Loraine x
Hey I’m going through something similar I just found out my little girl needs them too she’s 7.
did they say what strength she needs in the glasses x
You’re not on your own and you’re not a bad mum and it’s good that you are sharing and making other people aware of the importance of children’s eye checks even though there are no concerns 👍🏻
Hey!
Don't feel bad, I thought it was normal not to have your eyes tested unless your child is showing signs of eyesight issues. At least that is how we have always done things in our family and my mum wears glasses and did the same for me and my brother.
I'm not saying this is happening in your case but I would be careful because I have seen this happen multiple times around me. The child sees something and they also want to have that thing or do that thing. Asking to go to have an eye test and then going off to the optician and playing up needing glasses by pretending to struggle to see letters.
If they can't use patches due to age then they can correct the lazy eye surgically at any age?
It's hard to say when it happened. But it's also hard to detect because the better eye takes over. It won't impact LO unless they decide to become a pilot or a career that requires excellent '3D' vision.
Your not at fault. LO will be fine.
If you are questioning whether it's a 'correct' result consider seeking a second opinion.
If they can't use patches due to age then they can correct the lazy eye surgically at any age?
Unfortunately laser won't correct a true lazy eye if the vision is reduced as the vision is undeveloped from a young age.
Hey!
Don't feel bad, I thought it was normal not to have your eyes tested unless your child is showing signs of eyesight issues. At least that is how we have always done things in our family and my mum wears glasses and did the same for me and my brother.
I'm not saying this is happening in your case but I would be careful because I have seen this happen multiple times around me. The child sees something and they also want to have that thing or do that thing. Asking to go to have an eye test and then going off to the optician and playing up needing glasses by pretending to struggle to see letters.
I so wish this was the case, she isnt like that and the optometrist could see this by looking into her eyes while she was trying to read the letters lazy eye is something that couldn’t be faked, but yes i totally agree i can imagine plenty of children do this! And thankyou im glad i put this post up you lovely ladies have made me feel better xxx
Unfortunately laser won't correct a true lazy eye if the vision is reduced as the vision is undeveloped from a young age.
My son was born with a congenital cataract so virtually no sight in that eye but they have said they can operate to correct it aesthetically if he chooses when he's older. What is her prescription in that eye? Have you seen a consultant or just the optician?
Hi, I know exactly how you’re feeling. When my daughter was about 4 she said she couldn’t see well out of one eye. As she liked dressing up with pretend glasses I didn’t take it too seriously. At my sons next opticians appointment at a well known store beginning with S, I asked if my daughter could get an appointment but was told to bring her back when she was 5 and was at school and could read the letters.
When she started school they did a general eye test for all children and I was told her eyesight was fine.
I decided to take my daughter back to the opticians when she could read at age 5 and they instantly told me within 1 minute of being in the test that they wouldn’t continue any further as she had amblyopia. By the time we got a referral to the hospital she did about a year of patching to try and help, which it did a bit but once they get to age 7, the eye has already fully developed and you can no longer do patching. She has one eye with brilliant sight and the other not so good which can’t be operated on. I’ll never forget driving home from that opticians appointment in total shock and I beat myself up for months about it. She wears glasses and always will. Feel guilty I didn’t listen when she initially told me but whether they could have tested at that younger age I am unsure of.
Understand completely how you are feeling but how were you to know. Hopefully it will make more people aware to get tested at a younger age but nobody tells you these things.
You are not a bad mum. Kids when young can mask it and do not realise they favour 1 eye over the other. Also if your child is at school they do an eye test in reception and again in year 6 so would have picked it up then if bern a problem. You sure she isnt telling porkies because she wants a pair of glasses?. Also when i was at high school i had to have glasses i wore them as they said and my eyes corrected themselves so hers may also do the same. Xx
Your not a bad mum. Stop beating yourself up. My 13 year wears glasses and will for the rest off his life. I was told any correction to the eyes had to happen before they hit 7.
My sons eye was that bad if he took a knock to the head he could have lost his sight. My situation is the opposite of yours the doctor wouldn't listen when I told him something was wrong with his eyes and then when he had a eye appointment they sent me to the doctors. I was back and forth for months before anyone would listen to me.
Wearing glasses is not the end off the world my son can't live with out them literally (he had ASD). He has a very high prescription that everytime its renewed they spend half and hour double checking it.
I'm meant to wear glasses but I don't.
Honestly I didn't read your post and go oh my god what a terrible parent. It's happened don't beat yourself up. Get her some awesome looking glasses and stop feeling so guilty.
Xx
Firstly don't be crying in front of her about it, there's nothing wrong with wearing glasses and she will need to be proud if it. Secondly, my daughter is 5.5 and it hadn't occurred to me to have her eyes tested either so don't beat yourself up! I don't think most parents would think to unless there seemed to be a problem. Thirdly, her eyes should have been tested at school when she was in reception and possibly again later on so it should have been picked up then.
Glasses aren't aren't issue and you're a good mum, don't worry xxx
Don't beat yourself up love..
It is what it is..
She's getting the help she needs now.
You can't change it..You're not a bad mother.
To me your a good Mother and doing all you can.
