Secret credit cards

Hi there Eliza,

Thanks for getting in touch, it might be worth giving us a call or using our self-help advice tool on our website to see if your payments are actually affordable, if you are finding it hard to keep up to date with your household bills or essential living costs in order to meet your monthly contractual payments on the cards then this is a sign of problem debt.

I'm no relationship expert so I don't want to overstep the mark, but it sounds like you are burdened with guilt and that can't be healthy, you should consider speaking to your husband to help lift the burden. Before you do though you may want to seek some relationship counselling for advice on the best way to go about this, you can get in touch with Relate for help in this area.

If the guilt or even the stress of the debt is having an impact on your mental health you could consider speaking to your GP, or reaching out to Mind who are a charity that help support people dealing with mental health difficulties.

If you want to speak to a member of our team in confidence to get some advice on your debt you can get in touch on 0800 138 1111, calls are free from most UK mobiles and landlines, we are available 8am until 8pm Monday to Friday and 8am until 4pm Saturdays.

Best wishes - Kev at StepChange

It's not great but I think you will feel so much better if you confess- a trouble shared etc, the secret must be worse than the truth surely?

Then you can make a plan together to get rid and never to get in this situation again by budgeting and saving for stuff.

Good luck, you aren't alone in this believe me!

You could apply for a DRO if you cannot afford to pay off your debts or are struggling?

Good luck.

Go on Martin Lewis’ website below: you need to move your debt to a card that has a period that’s interest-free in order to pay off your debt:

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan/

Hope this helps.

Be honest with him and tell him so that he can help but firstly get rid of the credit cards to take away temptation of using them again , work out the best way to clear the debt together!! He will be mad to start with but I’m sure it will work itself out once it’s out there

Get on money supermarket and transfer both balances to a 0% card for as long as possible. It's not ideal but you could do this a few times once the 0% deal ends. Then set up an app for the new card on your phone and turn off transactions so that you can't add to the debt and cut up your old cards.

Eliza,

I'm sorry to hear about the debt. I agree with the other folks here, that in addition to the debt, the guilt can be difficult to deal with.

My husband built up a lot of debt and the effect it had on him impacted our relationship as well, especially since I didn't know why he was acting the way he was for a long time.

Talking about it may be the first step in facing up to it and then dealing with it.

Omg I'm in exact same situation, well not racked up as much as 10k but just under half of that 😬 DO NOT TELL HIM for crying out loud, this kind of stuff can ruin your relationship. I have gotten in touch with various debt management companies and anyways I've frozen my credit cards so no interest is added and I make a set payment each month that I can easily hide, or can pay more if I have extra money. At least you will have an end date and there will be no more interest xx

I had this, i had a credit card I'd taken out on maternity leave and an overdraft. I got a personal loan to cover them, the minimum payments were much more manageable and I'm now debt free.

There's no way you're going to be able to pay off 10 grand plus interest without making some cut backs elsewhere that your partner will surely notice.

Causing the debt is one thing but keeping it a secret and basically taking from your family's current budget, during a cost of living crisis is going to make it wors. You need to own up to the amount you owe and be honest.

I'd recommend going in with a plan.

You can get credit cards that are interest free to hopefully the some.of the interest off and work out a payment plan. If this were me it would be coming from money meant for me. Hair appointments and similar, money you would usually use for socialising etc.

But I think you need to look into why you felt the need to get the credit card and overspend on it without talking to your partner anywya, it's not dissimilar to a gambling problem in many ways and you should consider whether its a habit you need help with.

Get a debt relief order ( dro) they write off your debts. And you don't have to pay them back, I'd be honest with your husband though

Up to you whether you tell husband or not(I’d be a hypocrite if I said you should tell him) but there are 2 things that I have done, one is to transfer to a 0% interest card as someone has said - that way if only paying minimum payments atleast it’s coming off the balance not just paying interest. That said 10k would probably need more than one card which requires being organised (I use spreadsheets to track the 0% dates) or another option is a monthly payback loan which you can stretch over 3-5 years depending by on your credit rating. A lot of people don’t often realise too but loans over 7500 generally actually have lower interest rates so will still be more productive than just minimum payments on a standard credit card. Good luck! You’re not alone, a lot of us do it, it feels crap at the time but be strict with yourself for a bit and you’ll get there. Another think you can do is have a massive clear out, kids old clothes shoes or toys on eBay or vinted - that adds up quickly and are extra payments you can put on your cards :)