I feel like a rubbish mummy
6 answers /
Last post: 23/01/2024 at 5:58 am
I need help! I have reached the end of my limit with my five yo son & I honestly feel like I don’t want to be around him anymore. How horrible is that? What kind of mummy am I?
Reception year at school was a constant struggle, he would hit other children, not respond to his name, struggle to focus etc. He has been put on the senco register for sensory processing & communication issues & has been improving since going into year one. I thought we’d turned a corner but since Christmas he’s been a nightmare, shouting at me & his dad, interrupting us when we talk, constantly demanding attention. I had to put him in after school club this week for the first time & he’s been a nightmare since. I literally can’t look at anyone else or talk to anybody. Yesterday he hit me in the playground because I spoke to one of his friends.
From the age of 16 months to four years he suffered from sporadic febrile convulsions, the last of which happened July 2022 & left him unconscious for 17 minutes. He had a brain scan which came back normal.
Prior to his last seizure none of this behaviour was happening, he was hitting all
his milestones & there was never a question of medical intervention. He was a happy, smiley little boy & a joy to be around. Once he started school everything changed.
I really, really try to stay calm & explain things to him & ask nicely, but lately I feel like im constantly telling him off & losing my temper which must be the reason behind his actions at the moment.
I feel like I’m in a vicious circle & don’t know how to be the calm, kind parent I want to be. I want my happy, smiley boy back. I miss our ‘mummy & son’ time since he’s been in school. Everything has changed for the worse I feel & I don’t want to feel
this way anymore. My son deserves a better mummy.
Hi Michelle
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thank you for sharing with us - I've asked for your post to be moved into our drop in clinic where I think you may get more support.
Michelle, I think lots of our community will understand how you feel. Parenting is tough and kids just seem to know how to push our buttons and it seems like you may be taking the brunt of behaviour. It also sounds like you have both been through a lot.
Michelle, do you have good support from your husband? Would you be able to chat him about how you are feeling? You sound like a wonderful mummy Michelle and I can hear how much you love your little one. Please be kind to yourself. Would you consider having a chat to school about how you are finding things? Do they notice any behaviours? They may be able to signpost you to local supports.
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon to offer support but please come back to us, if you would like to chat some more.
Catherine
Hi Michelle,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic maternal mental health board, so you can get the advice and support you need.
Hi, has he also had an EEG my sons brain scan via MRI was normal but EEG wasn’t xx
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re human, we’re not infallible. And raising children with additional needs is especially challenging. You’re enough.xxx
Hi my daughter is eleven we have always noticed little different things about her but oh boy for years ago our worlds came crashing down refusing to go to school being verbally and physically abusive to me and her older sister.She has so many different personalities I have been beggng for help for all this time its suspected adhd so many people have said it but we cant get a diagnosis till we see a paediatrician for which there is a massive wait.Our gp keeps trying to push her up the list it gets rejected he sats he will keep trying till they give in.I resent my daughter I cant help it the impact this has on our family every day is catastrophic....What can we do I cant give up she still sometimes can be so affectionate sge says she doesn't know why she is like this
