Andrea McLean and Nick Feeney's 5 tips for mastering midlife: navigating menopause, blended families, and beyond
Alison Perry
Netmums contributorFormer Loose Women star Andrea McLean and husband, life coach, Nick Feeney, share their midlife wisdom on The Netmums Podcast this week
Whether you're approaching midlife or it still seems a long way off, it hits most of us like a tonne of bricks.
Hormones, confidence dips, raising teens, health worries, the lot!
But our guests on The Netmums Podcast this week are mastering midlife and they're happy to share with the rest of us how they're doing it.
TV presenter and author Andrea McLean and husband, life coach, Nick Feeney have recently launched their own podcast – Mastering Midlife – where they discuss the nitty gritty and talk to experts about everything from relationships and divorce to blended families, step-parenting and general ‘adulting'.
Andrea admits to Netmums podcast hosts Wendy and Alison that it hasn't always been easy, especially navigating two divorces before she met Nick.
'It's not easy at all,' she says. 'You've got to grieve, not just for your marriage, but for the whole dream that you had.'
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So what are Andrea and Nick's top tips for not just surviving — but thriving in — midlife?
1. Embrace the menopause journey
A huge advocate for breaking the silence surrounding menopause, Andrea thinks it's important to embrace this life stage, and talk about it more.
'Menopause is like Voldemort,' she tells us. 'It's the thing that must not be named. It's ridiculous!'
She describes her initial reactions to perimenopause, saying, 'I was 42 was when I realised what I was experiencing was the perimenopause. It's like your body's playing a trick on you.
'You start waking up in the night, and it's like someone's poured water over you. You're soaked!'
After her GP suggested she have a full hysterectomy to deal with her endometriosis, Andrea went into full menopause at 46.
'Full hysterectomy means everything's gone. So ovaries, cervix, womb, the whole thing. And you go into full menopause overnight.
'So the main difference between a surgical menopause and a natural menopause is clearly the speed and the intensity. It's real.'
She counts herself as 'really lucky' that her doctor recommended HRT following her hysterectomy and now talks openly about the benefits of HRT.
2. Prioritise your mental health
On the podcast both Andrea and Nick reflect on the emotional aspects of menopause, and its impact on mental health.
'You're suddenly questioning everything,' says Andrea. 'It's like, who am I?' This introspective moment resonates with listeners, highlighting the emotional rollercoaster that often accompanies midlife.
Nick emphasises the importance of men supporting their partners through menopause.
'I play golf a lot,' he tells us. 'And I do little days where I may be in a group that I won't necessarily know the people that I'm playing with and we get into conversation.
'They might say, "Oh, my God, my wife's driving me mad at the moment. She's this she's that..." And I'm going... okay. And I asked a few questions.
'And I've said, "Look, mate, if you want your wife to be your wife in your future, then I suggest you learn to be a better husband and understand what she's going through. Because I'll tell you what, it's hell.
'"And if you were going through it, you'd be having weeks off. So let's understand what she's going through and then ask her how you can help her."
'And by the end of the round, they've bought Andrea's book!'
3. Realise no one has all the answers by midlife
Andrea says we shouldn't beat ourselves up when we get stuff wrong, even when we hit midlife.
'Nobody has all the answers by the time they're halfway through, because you only know half the stuff,' she smiles.
'So for me, midlife is a point when you're halfway through, not halfway done. And then if you can look at it with a twinkle in the eye and put a bit of knowledge behind you and also a big heart and pay it forward, that's all we're trying to do.'
4. Stop feeling shame about your life
This is easier said than done, but Andrea and Nick say it's good to embrace and respect the path that's brought us here.
'I've learned to stop being ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that I've been married three times,' says Andrea. 'Obviously, my third marriage is to Nick!
'I've been married twice,' says Nick. 'My second marriage is to Andrea.'
'I've learned to not be ashamed of it,' says Andrea. 'There used to be a lot of shame surrounding that because I felt like I'd failed in some sort of way and shown a sort of recklessness, which really doesn't sum up my personality at all.
'What I've come to see is actually, I was really fortunate that I've had three instances in my life where I have met someone and we've loved each other and we've tried to make something wonderful happen and it didn't work.'
5. Raising teens is a rollercoaster not a straight road
As parents of teenagers, Andrea and Nick know that there are lots of ups and downs involved.
'Teenagers can be like your best mate one minute and your mortal enemy the next,' Andrea says.
Nick agrees, adding: 'You're dealing with someone who is still a child, but they think they're an adult. It's a complex balance.'
They say their parenting style involves having open communication, setting boundaries, and adapting to the evolving dynamics of parenting teenagers.
'Parenting teenagers is about being adaptable,' says Andrea. 'Things change, and you have to change with them.'
Hear more on The Netmums Podcast
Find out more about Andrea and Nick's take on midlife on The Netmums Podcast.
Catch up on previous episodes
Have you caught up with the last season of The Netmums Podcast yet?
It was packed with brilliant guests, from popular children's author Jacqueline Wilson, Gemma Bird aka Money Mum, Steve Backshall, Ollie and Gareth Locke-Locke, Kelsey Parker, Dr Ellie, Nigel Clarke and Sarah Beeny.
Each week we bring you a terrific lineup with guests talking all about parenting, celebrity, money and much much more.
Listen to more brilliant Netmums Podcast episodes
