Step-son issues/ bedroom arrangements

Who gets the biggest bedroom is always a whohaa with kids! If it were me I would say that the 13 year old should get the second biggest bedroom, he probably doesn't have lots of Lego or toys etc but he should get a more grown up space, he might have a pc, a desk for homework away from the younger siblings as he will be soon preparing for his mocks then GCSEs. He will have more space for mates to stay over and even the potential of a double bed (my teens had small doubles as soon as we had the space, and they were over the moon.) Also, having a good size room will help him feel more at home and at ease as he navigates through teenage years and the age gap with the younger ones. If there is a potential that his post 16 choices make more sense for him living with you guys full time or more of the time (at his age I think he could probably choose where he wants to live) having a bigger space to call his own would be very beneficial.

Just my opinion, (I have 19ds 16ds and 6dss) good luck!

Thank you! This has really helped. He is starting to spend more time in his room at the minute. Maybe you and my partner are right and it will help him feel more at home, especially as he is getting older.

To be honest older kids don't really have much to store in comparison to the little ones. Since the second biggest room is next to yours I feel it should go to your little one as it'll be easier for you and him to get to each other incase he needs you.

As your stepson is older I think it's best his bedroom is away from you and his dad's as it's more private for all of you. I'm sure you'd be able to create a nice space in the smaller room with some nice space saving furniture for your stepson. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all and your husband should hear you out.

It is a tricky one, I hope that it works out for you!

Maybe involve him in decorating etc? Facebook always has loads of bargains for the bedroom on, and Asda and home bargains/b and m for cool bedding (can get avengers in a double size etc!)

There is a natural hierarchy in families that is rarely discussed. Often the oldest children will get priority for the largest bedrooms. Step children even if they aren't living within the family home for the majority of the time hold onto their place in the social hierarchy of family life.

While your suggestion is logical, it's completely unfair to expect the oldest child to sacrifice their hierarchy within the family in favour of younger sibling.

I think it's a wise idea giving him the room he asked for. The teenage years are already stressful as it is, if he feels safe and comfortable he'll feel part of the family unit.

Which means a happier life for all of you. You must be doing something right if he stays so often. He clearly cares about you all. You might even find he'll help with his siblings more as he gets older.

Teenagers practically live in their rooms so the 13 year old having the bigger room makes sense.

It will give him somewhere to retreat to away from the little ones and have space for a TV computer and a larger bed and pace to have friends over without them being under your feet.

By the time your 3 year old is 13 the other child may not be living there so he'll get his chance of the big room further down the line.

You're making it sound like she lives in a mansion and he's on some other wing of the house.

I'm sure a few extra steps accross the landing to get to the 3 year old isn't exactly a hardship

tell him you can hear “everything” he’s doing next door so if he wants privacy to choose the other room… I chose based on that when I was 12 ha ha! It worked out best because my parents never complained of anything as I grew up and generally had a house full 90% of the time.

I see no problem in letting him have the bigger room if he has expressed that he wants it, obviously your younger children haven’t. Use this opportunity to put some rules in place, as the mum of three boys that are older than yours I would suggest telling him if he doesn’t keep it clean and tidy he doesn’t keep the room.

I don't understand this. If 13 yr old lives with you 5 days a week then you are his main residence. He should be in the bigger room hes bigger he's got school and homework he needs to be doing toddlers can have toys stored anywhere

This is a brilliant reply. Haha it's so true

Teenagers spend so much time in their rooms so it would be nice for him to have the bigger bedroom, it’s also kinda oldest sibling gets the biggest room and it works it’s way down it’s the sibling law 😂

It depends the size of the room your SS may have, is it a decent size. Young kids have so many toys etc and need space to play etc. My teenagers desk takes up less room than all his toys did.