Do I don’t I
6 answers /
Last post: 06/02/2024 at 5:20 pm
I’m not sure what to do please help !
bit of background I have been with oh for nearly 17 years I’ve not been happy for a while we have 3 kids together
he’s has cheated twice that I know of around the time I found out we lost our house so went into temporary housing now we are settled around this time I lost someone close to me this was about 2 years ago . I feel very insecure about this still my own fault really I know he doesn’t spend any time with us or do normal family things or share the responsibility of kids a house he goes out twice a week to play pool for a local team while I sit at home he’s never even done night feeds as babies these are only a few things I can think of he stays in our room only comes out to go out a bath or food I pay for everything he doesn’t work of contribute finacaly now my oldest is saying some really said things which breaks my heart I’m really torn between keeping img my family together and being unhappy or spitting up am I wrong for thinking I’d be better off so would the kids and maybe oh could be a proper dad and step up
Hi Terri,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic unhealthy relationships, so you can get the advice and support you need
Hi Terri
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thanks for sharing with us. You've told us that you haven't felt 'happy for a while' and your OH doesn't seem to support you practically or financially and has cheated on you in the past. It sounds like you are considering whether you want to stay in the relationship and what might make you and the children happy. Terri, if a friend was in this relationship. what would you say? Can you think of any positives or strengths in your relationship? What would need to change for things to feel better?
Terri, do you feel able to chat to your OH about how you feel? Do think he he would listen to how you are feeling? Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon but in the meantime, you may find this article a helpful read: When relationships go wrong - Netmums
Catherine
My therapist asked me once about my relationship 'what would I miss if he was gone?'. So ask yourself that too. I 100% get the keeping the family together but not every 'broken home' is a bad home. Sometimes the environment you are explaining is worse. I would leave. He's cheated, he doesn't support you or HIS family financially or even physically or emotionally. Honestly yes you would be better alone. It sounds like he has somewhere to lay his head and look after him. Who looks after you.
Good luck. X
My therapist asked me once about my relationship 'what would I miss if he was gone?'. So ask yourself that too. I 100% get the keeping the family together but not every 'broken home' is a bad home. Sometimes the environment you are explaining is worse. I would leave. He's cheated, he doesn't support you or HIS family financially or even physically or emotionally. Honestly yes you would be better alone. It sounds like he has somewhere to lay his head and look after him. Who looks after you.
Good luck. X
Thank you ❤️
Thank you ❤️
Get out asap. You have nothing written here that is your fault, your only fault i can see is putting up with him. As above, what does he contribute? What will you miss if you kicked him out? Seems he can not work, use you financially, have his cake with other women and presumably you and can maybe claim to love his kids but does he?
