Any advice?!?!
20 answers /
Last post: 26/02/2024 at 11:05 am
Single mum in a private rented for just over a year. Have druggy neighbours (a couple with three kids just younger than mine) incident after incident with them…. asked them to be quiet during all hours last summer, both the couple and his sister abused and assaulted me that I had to involve the police. Didn’t want to be a grass so left it and the following day the words they screamed through my windows for hours about “I’m doing things to my kids” made me physically sick and things my children heard that I shouldn’t have had to explain to them; something no parent should have to be forced to say to their children. I didn’t follow up with anything because they blame me for all complaints and thought I’d keep it a bit easier by not following through. That and the LA/Neighbourhood aren’t interested because they are complained about by several elderly neighbours but they still blame it all on me, even though it’s not me!
Their three children then attacked my daughter late last summer (we’ve only been moved in 13 months). The eldest boy (younger than my daughter) held her down on the floor by her throat so his younger sisters could kick and punch her (we honestly don’t live in a rough area - so I used to think). Yet again; I didn’t take it any further thinking it would make our lives worse once they found out.
They now have started with the world’s loudest quad bike so I asked last Friday when they were going to be finished with it and stop with the noise past 10pm and both the adult female and male assaulted me. I openly told them I would have to contact the police when I could breathe again (they had my jugular) but the authorities couldn’t be less interested when they arrived.
I know they won’t be moved as no one will ever take them on as tenants especially during the current market. But any suggestions as to how I can protect my children will be welcomed and to get us moved given the local council aren’t interested so I’m not even a priority so it’s down to private rents (whom in my area prefer not to have single parents and children despite whether I work or not!)
My life is miserable. I’m 42yrs old and post divorce so it’s embarrassing how bad this has become. And I’m only just overcoming the recent concussion. I’m fearful of even leaving my house given they’re constantly outside and I won’t let my children walk out to meet their father without me watching them. First world country or what!
Forgot to explain that the “man” also called his mum during the latest incident, heard her loud and proud on speaker phone saying she was going to come to my house and see me to make sure I “didn’t forget what I’d done!” (By asking him to be less quiet with the quad bike). This was after he’d threatened that he’s going to “make my life a misery, day after day”. If you could understand him with the droll of his voice
So yeah, brilliant! And the English law system is fantastic! 🙄🥹
Also contemplating deleting this in case they’re on this website and it’s going to make matters worse me asking for help.
Hi Jane
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent supporters at Netmums. Sorry to hear how awful things have been with your neighbours and how let down you are feeling by the system. Hopefully some of our community will be along soon to offer support. Would you consider reaching out to social services for support given how worried you are for your children? You could contact the NSPCC and chat anonymously to them? Keeping children safe | NSPCC
Jane, I wonder also if Citizen's advice might be worth contacting too? They have some really useful information on their website: Complaining about your neighbour - Citizens Advice. Would you be able to speak to a solicitor or get some legal advice? Did you know Netmums also has a legal board where Goodlaw respond to some of the queries - I'll link it here in case you would like to post over there too: Legal and social services - Netmums Forum
Best wishes
Catherine
Forgot to explain that the “man” also called his mum during the latest incident, heard her loud and proud on speaker phone saying she was going to come to my house and see me to make sure I “didn’t forget what I’d done!” (By asking him to be less quiet with the quad bike). This was after he’d threatened that he’s going to “make my life a misery, day after day”. If you could understand him with the droll of his voice
So yeah, brilliant! And the English law system is fantastic! 🙄🥹
Also contemplating deleting this in case they’re on this website and it’s going to make matters worse me asking for help.
You need to start recording everything! So that you have evidence.
If the police don't do anything when you are assaulted, make a complaint and make it their problem.
A lot of people won't agree with this, but buy a baseball bat and keep it by your bedside in case they ever break in, enroll your daughter in some self defense classes. They are picking on you because you're scared and won't do anything, don't allow them to keep thinking like this install a camera (like ring doorbell) for front for when they verbally assault you and keep bugging the police.... when your tenancy is up, move! No house is worth you or your daughter being assaulted
Forgot to explain that the “man” also called his mum during the latest incident, heard her loud and proud on speaker phone saying she was going to come to my house and see me to make sure I “didn’t forget what I’d done!” (By asking him to be less quiet with the quad bike). This was after he’d threatened that he’s going to “make my life a misery, day after day”. If you could understand him with the droll of his voice
So yeah, brilliant! And the English law system is fantastic! 🙄🥹
Also contemplating deleting this in case they’re on this website and it’s going to make matters worse me asking for help.
Hi, I don't have very good neighbors either.
I think things got really bad when I confronted them when they trespassed my property.
* I think you should avoid them at all costs, so study what time you can leave without them noticing, what time you can come back and they won't notice etc
Really avoid them
Contact police if it's emergency even if they do nothing it will be logged down
Contact 111 if it's not emergency but you are concerned it will be logged down
Book appointment with environmental health officer at civic center and tell them everything
Keep repeating this, and avoid them. I think it's best to avoid people like these, I made mistake just like you to talk to them like civil person but that doesn't work. Ignore things like noise, use white noise, music headphones, shut windows - I do all this myself.
I'm not in a situation where I can leave but I can make the place I live in heaven even if outside is hell. 💜
Hi Jane.
This is the exact same situation I have with my neighbour next door. Again she's a junkie and a dealer. I've had to call the police on numerous occasions about her and her parties and her "gangsta" boyfriend. The police have never even come out. Not once.
I contacted my local Councillor about the issues and he told me this is a common issue and that the only way it will be resolved is if we have proof. Proof being video footage with sound. So I have spent over £300 getting cameras put up that are activated by sound and any activity. It will start recording 2 minutes before any activity. Its money I can't really afford but it's either this or move.
So in a week I've had 3 activations and I've watched and she is damaging my property and swearing at me. Now this is someone I've never even spoken to before. She doesn't know my name so not sure what she thinks I've done to her. All the neighbours complain about her so why she has picked me, I don't know.
The Councillor said once I have some good footage of her doing deals or anything "juicy", HE will take it on and take it forward.
Just keep doing what you're doing with the kids, making sure they get to there dads safe etc. But go speak with your local Councillor.
Hi my heart goes out to you because I know exactly what you're going through. Unfortunately no one wants to help with this but you need to keep reporting them and please whenever they're near you start videoing them because if you have that you can eventually take them to court. Try and get your local MP involved. I'm dealing with the same but they are now on their last warning and have been quiet for a few months but when the summer comes they do come out and start again. I am a very strong person but they have worn me down by it all. What gets me is they never get any hassle from me no noise nothing as I'm on my own. I am now waiting to move and I have been in my house 28 years and this is what it's come to. Drug addicts do not care about anyone and they will continue to abuse you and make your life a misery sorry to say that. Please try and see if you can move because it will drain you to the point of a breakdown. So sorry again that you're going through this but it is very common it's happening to so many people. Take care and stay strong
Forgot to explain that the “man” also called his mum during the latest incident, heard her loud and proud on speaker phone saying she was going to come to my house and see me to make sure I “didn’t forget what I’d done!” (By asking him to be less quiet with the quad bike). This was after he’d threatened that he’s going to “make my life a misery, day after day”. If you could understand him with the droll of his voice
So yeah, brilliant! And the English law system is fantastic! 🙄🥹
Also contemplating deleting this in case they’re on this website and it’s going to make matters worse me asking for help.
Don't bow down to these people because they will make things even worse and i don't mean you should retaliate just always stick up for yourself and tell the truth about everything that is happening. Don't worry about writing this and worrying they will see it doesn't matter if you keep quiet or stand your ground these people are unhappy and will make everyone around them try and feel the same way. They have no respect for themselves so they won't have any for anyone else. Please keep videoing everything that happens. Get yourself a camera i got a cheap one from Aldi and it shows me everything that is going on around my front door and garden. They will try and sabotage things they are just sad people. Take care and stay safe.
That is awful and the useless authorities and police not doing anything to stop criminals. Get cameras that will record everything, complain to IPOC about the police, there's an anti corruption line you can call if they're corrupt (google report corrupt police). Then book an appointment with your local MP, report your council to the local and govt body.
I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through.
Definitely record everything and definitely make a police statements and get your children to as well. Tell the police & council that you fear for your safety.
Go down to the housing council office & meet face to face with the local housing officer & tell them everything how it's affecting your life & fear for it.
Ask if they can help you find another property or if the bad neighbours are council house they may move them on.
Definitely raise it, sounds like they will accuse you even if you don't raise it, so raise it anyway. x
I’m not sure if you can right now, but if I was in your position, I would move for the safety of myself and my kids.
Why?? Because if you manage to get them evicted… they will assume it was your fault. And you and your kids may never be safe living in your property. They will always know where you live if you remain living there.
I’m not sure if you can right now, but if I was in your position, I would move for the safety of myself and my kids.
Why?? Because if you manage to get them evicted… they will assume it was your fault. And you and your kids may never be safe living in your property. They will always know where you live if you remain living there.
Why should she run away if they get evicted she can get an order put on them to not go near her or her kids or they will be charged. This is the problem people let them away with things and they will continue to do this at the next house they go to. I hope she gets the help she needs ASAP.
Hi Jane.
This is the exact same situation I have with my neighbour next door. Again she's a junkie and a dealer. I've had to call the police on numerous occasions about her and her parties and her "gangsta" boyfriend. The police have never even come out. Not once.
I contacted my local Councillor about the issues and he told me this is a common issue and that the only way it will be resolved is if we have proof. Proof being video footage with sound. So I have spent over £300 getting cameras put up that are activated by sound and any activity. It will start recording 2 minutes before any activity. Its money I can't really afford but it's either this or move.
So in a week I've had 3 activations and I've watched and she is damaging my property and swearing at me. Now this is someone I've never even spoken to before. She doesn't know my name so not sure what she thinks I've done to her. All the neighbours complain about her so why she has picked me, I don't know.
The Councillor said once I have some good footage of her doing deals or anything "juicy", HE will take it on and take it forward.
Just keep doing what you're doing with the kids, making sure they get to there dads safe etc. But go speak with your local Councillor.
I had this with drug dealers had cameras police , local council and mps did nothing . Go to the press I contacted the press put the videos online and they went viral . You really have to make a stand . I lost my home all my possessions and was homeless for a time before finally finding a new home . Welcome to Great Britain 2024 lawless lands . Seriously so sad to hear all this has happened to you hope you get sorted soon
Hi Jane.Citizens Advice may give you some options to tackle your dreadful situation.Combine that with a letter from your G.P. stating the impact this is having on you and your children and how this is affecting all of your mental and physical Heath.. Anxiety,fear,depression and any unhealthy thoughts you may be having.Get it all out,that's what your G.P. is there for.Lack of sleep,loss of appetite,unsafe in your own home.The very place were you should feel safe and have time to relax in peace.In my own experiences similar to yourself I have found when you have a medical professional on board things start moving Hopefully this may be helpful and you and your children may finally get some peace and tranquillity. God Bless.
Why should she run away if they get evicted she can get an order put on them to not go near her or her kids or they will be charged. This is the problem people let them away with things and they will continue to do this at the next house they go to. I hope she gets the help she needs ASAP.
Why should she and her kids stay in a house where they are living in hell?
Have you read all her posts?
