Reading at home!
48 answers /
Last post: 10/02/2024 at 10:59 pm
Okay, I know 98% of you will probably wipe the floor with me on this and make me feel like I am the worst mum in the world. If that's going to be you, please don't comment, I don't like how nasty people on here can get.
My issue is that I encourage my child to read at home, every night. However, he is non compliant most nights and will have the biggest meltdown to the point where he is struggling to breathe. All because of me wanting him to read his book.
Me and my partner both work full time, have 3 children between us, we are currently renovating our house, and the kids grandad has just been diagnosed with cancer and is currently in hospital undergoing treatment.
A typical day consists of getting up and ready, working/ school, extra curricular activities after school (swimming,football, squash) and/or a visit to hospital, getting home, making tea for the kids (by this point it can be pushing 7pm) then letting the children have some downtime before they go to bed, then me and my partner doing some housework before sitting down to eat and chill out ourselves.
It may not be the perfect routine but whilst the house is still being renovated we just deal with it like this..
So back to the issue, each day when I open my sons reading record one of his teachers is always stressing the importance of reading and how I should be doing this and that with my son.
Yes. I am fully understanding of this and I know it will benefit him, but getting him to sit down and read with me is an absolute mammoth task most nights. He will kick off and say he's already read in school, or that he read yesterday, there is always a reason. And I try so hard to get him to do it i just feel like sometimes I'm fighting a losing battle. I want him to be able to read, obviously, and I do not want him behind with his learning. But teachers making comments in his book every day when they don't see what the reality of our life is like is getting my so down!! I feel so guilty and such a bad parent. As if they are mocking me behind my back for being a lazy parent and not reading with my son. This isnt the case as i do really try. I have tried to comment this in my sons record book, and they thank me for letting them know, but then it's back to stressy comments a few days later. School offer incentives for reading so ever many times a week and I remind my son of this, but he has none of it.
What do I do? I cant force my son to read his book and i don't want him to feel like its a chore. I want for him to see home as a space he should be happy in, as he goes to school to learn and he is fully aware of this at the age of 5. He is incredibly clever with his speech and use of language and can have a really grown up conversation. His imagination is fantastic. Its just his lack of reading that is currently letting him down. I want for him to read and excel at it. But at the minute i feel incredibly deflated by the way the school feel its okay to not take into consideration peoples lifestyles and wellbeing and make judgements on what we do not do with our children.
Please don't feel bad. Its not you. My now 18 year old hated reading the school reading books between the ages of 5-7 (I'm assuming these are ORT books?). Really hated it. Didn't even try and the whole thing was getting so stressful. I spoke to his teacher and they said it didn't matter what he read at home as long as he was reading something. We agreed that the school reading books could be left to be read at school and home would be "fun" reading.
I substituted the school reading books for things I thought he would like. We went comics, really silly boys books (Captain Underpants was a huge hit at 6-7). I found changing what he read to something he enjoyed made SO much difference and suddenly he soared.
If the school reading books are getting too stressful for him, then stop imo. Make reading fun and silly.
I have 3 kids. One of my kids has adhd and hates it most nights I just sign the diary that he's read a page but most nights he will read a page or two before he goes off to chill. And do no reading at weekends as that's their time for no work. My daughter likes reading a page or two to me in the car on the way home. They do that much at school the 5 mins reading at home isn't going to do much anyway all their learning shoukd be in school. I just sign it anyway its been read lol
Have you spoken to him? Outside of whipping out his book and asking him to read there and then, have you spoken about it, together? X..
If he is struggling to enjoy reading the book(s) then talk with him about what he would like to read instead. I think the only alternative here is to meet him in the middle and respect that he is struggling to enjoy the experience.
I would tell the teacher that you, not she, decide what happens in your own home. You will decide what's in his best interests while he's at home, and she can decide at school.
You have many necessary skills and experiences for him to learn about while he's with you, and school has him for at least 6 hours a day. If it's 'just 10 minutes', then she can go ahead and find that 10 minutes for him on her time instead of trying to dictate what happens on your time.
You thank her for her thoughts, but you'll be grateful if she please doesn't interfere any further.
Stop feeling guilty.
My other suggestion is to keep a wee basket of books in the loo. Encourage him to read while he's answering nature's call. Choose comic books and fact books for this. Also, see if he will listen to audio books - they're just as good for vocabulary as ordinary books.
You are right to avoid the battle.
Are you sure he isn't dyslexic? Never reading for pleasure is one of the key indicators of dyslexia. I am 22 years a Secondary English teacher and Headteacher and I have two dyslexic teenagers. You can't force kids to read on their own time ... trust me, if it were possible I would have learnt how by now.
x
Hello!
Teacher and parent here… I get why you feel the teacher is singling you out, but honestly, we just want what’s best for your child. Unfortunately, we see many many children every day who get no support at home to help develop their reading (but many times this is not due to reluctance from the child).
I know how bonkers home is when you’ve collected your child, there’s barely time to breathe! I get it 😂
Have you tried a reading app with your child? There’s a really good one called Teach Your Monster to Read. It’s promoted by the Dyslexia Society and is a game that uses sound recognition and phonics. The children in my class love it, and it adjusts difficulty depending on how well your child is doing.
Also, try having an honest conversation with your child’s teacher (most of us are human) and explain the challenges you’re facing and that you don’t want to put him off reading. It may be that he compartmentalises home and school and that by asking him to read at home, you’re messing with his ‘routine’.
Please don’t feel like you’re doing a bad job, but also don’t judge the teacher too harshly until you’ve chatted. We’re under huge pressures from up above, and sometimes we forget other people are human too.
Good luck!
Reading at home should not be so stressful, have you spoken to teacher about the battle you are having?
Personally I think reading should be enjoyable and not a battle, so if your son is not enjoying books supplied by school perhaps look at other ways to introduce reading at home. It could be looking at a paper/ magazine, a trip to local library to find books he likes ( my youngestcwent through phase of preferring factual books so we found books with things he enjoyed and had an interest in) or just reading the cereal box, it's all reading. It is about making it fun and finding the thing that works for you as a family . The ready scheme books supplied by schools can be terribly boring or antiquated, both my kids enjoy reading but enjoyed it so much more since reading the books and genres they enjoy.
It's tough juggling everything as a mum, so don't put yourself under that pressure, speak to the school, let them know you acknowledge the importance of reading but perhaps its about finding what works for your son, maybe reading scheme books can be left to read with teacher in school and you can note the activities you have done together that involves reading xx
Engage the school. Teachers will be more than happy tonhave a gentle word with him and set him a challenge to read something like half a page (depending on age) and they usually say if you read you get x amount of points. Work with the school and I'm sure they will help. You can also start to read to your child and let them have a go at a sentence as a starting point. But please speak to the teacher.
I have 3 kids. One of my kids has adhd and hates it most nights I just sign the diary that he's read a page but most nights he will read a page or two before he goes off to chill. And do no reading at weekends as that's their time for no work. My daughter likes reading a page or two to me in the car on the way home. They do that much at school the 5 mins reading at home isn't going to do much anyway all their learning shoukd be in school. I just sign it anyway its been read lol
"All their learning should be at school"???? Wow are you for real! And there's the poor OP worrying she's lazy!!!! Reading isn't "work", it's a basic life skill.
You need to sit down and talk with the teacher about this... you need to work WITH the school, not AGAINST it.
You're doing an awful lot each day, you may want to rethink some of these extra activities and also have a try at rearranging your routine and trying reading at a different time of day, like the morning or something.
Are you reading to him as well? Even if he refuses to read, pick up a book and read TO him (not his reading book but a different book at home)
Trouble is a lot of parents can't be bothered and it can be really frustrating for teachers ... I'm an EYP and also run the afterschool club so for me its the ones who say its too late after they pick their kids up... and heres me, looking after their kids and then going home even later and can manage to do all this with MY 5 yr old, lol.
Please don't feel bad. Its not you. My now 18 year old hated reading the school reading books between the ages of 5-7 (I'm assuming these are ORT books?). Really hated it. Didn't even try and the whole thing was getting so stressful. I spoke to his teacher and they said it didn't matter what he read at home as long as he was reading something. We agreed that the school reading books could be left to be read at school and home would be "fun" reading.
I substituted the school reading books for things I thought he would like. We went comics, really silly boys books (Captain Underpants was a huge hit at 6-7). I found changing what he read to something he enjoyed made SO much difference and suddenly he soared.
If the school reading books are getting too stressful for him, then stop imo. Make reading fun and silly.
Thank you! After reading your comment it prompted me to purchase some Spiderman phonics and other reading resources with him. They arrived yesterday and he actually wanted to sit and do them with me! X
Engage the school. Teachers will be more than happy tonhave a gentle word with him and set him a challenge to read something like half a page (depending on age) and they usually say if you read you get x amount of points. Work with the school and I'm sure they will help. You can also start to read to your child and let them have a go at a sentence as a starting point. But please speak to the teacher.
I have spoken to the teacher and expressed my concerns, she just said he is below level and i need to read at home with him 🤦♀️x
Hello!
Teacher and parent here… I get why you feel the teacher is singling you out, but honestly, we just want what’s best for your child. Unfortunately, we see many many children every day who get no support at home to help develop their reading (but many times this is not due to reluctance from the child).
I know how bonkers home is when you’ve collected your child, there’s barely time to breathe! I get it 😂
Have you tried a reading app with your child? There’s a really good one called Teach Your Monster to Read. It’s promoted by the Dyslexia Society and is a game that uses sound recognition and phonics. The children in my class love it, and it adjusts difficulty depending on how well your child is doing.
Also, try having an honest conversation with your child’s teacher (most of us are human) and explain the challenges you’re facing and that you don’t want to put him off reading. It may be that he compartmentalises home and school and that by asking him to read at home, you’re messing with his ‘routine’.
Please don’t feel like you’re doing a bad job, but also don’t judge the teacher too harshly until you’ve chatted. We’re under huge pressures from up above, and sometimes we forget other people are human too.
Good luck!
Thank you so much! I work in an SEN/SEMH secondary school and I see children who still cannot read at the age of 15, and I don't want him to be that person😔 I have messaged the teacher via school app to express my concerns but she has just said he is below level and I need to read at home with him🤦♀️so basically what I already knew 🤣
I purchased some Spiderman phonics and reading resources and they seem to have worked well in the few days we have had them for!! So I will keep going with those.
Thank you for the app idea! It looks great and I think he will definitely engage in that. I have downloaded onto my phone and will try it with him today!
Thank you for all your advice💖
Don't feel bad, it's hard especially as you work and have more than one child. Your son sound like me when I was younger, I just refused to read to my parents. It led to me going into year secondary school with a reading age of 6 years old. I really struggled in class and would try not to ask any questions incase I had to read out of the text book. It was horrible and I became more and more shy each day. Then my school recognised this and I had to go into a reading club every morning 8.30-9. That started to work a bit as the teacher made us read to herself and some assistants and made us do a test every few weeks to see what our reading age was. Mine went up a bit but not much.
Then I watched the second harry potter movie and i really wanted to find out what happened next. My family are all big readers and always mentioned how much more is in the book. I think the 5th book was out at that time. I wanted to start reading book 3 but my dad bought me the 1st book and told me to start from there. I was so slow but by the time the 6th book came out my reading was miles ahead. I actually read the book in less than a day. I went up in my school classes from F4 (mostly special needs) to F2 and ended up passing all my GCSEs.
Anyway, is there a movie you child likes that you can get him a book for? Harry potter or Percy Jackson ect? I always found school books boring but found these more enjoyable.
