Help! Toddler hates new baby :(

12 answers /

Last post: 10/01/2024 at 4:09 pm

Anonymous

09/03/2013 at 9:04 pm

Hi,

I'm just wondering if anyonelse has experienced anything like this? My little boy is 2 and 4 months and has always been a bit of a mummy's boy, he loves his cuddles and we play together all day so I was defo expecting some jealousy/upset when we had our little girl and tried to prepare him for the new arrival as much as possible but he was completely oblivious!!

Anyway, she is two weeks old today and the first few days were great, it was as if she wasn't even there. He glanced over at her every now and then but really wasn't bothered at all. We have kept very thing as normal as possible for him, he is getting loads of attention, his dads off as well for a couple of weeks so he's got more attention than normal and were taking it in turns with the baby so were always playing with him.

Now he's fed up of her, I think she's outstayed her welcome! He won't go near her and has even started sitting in the other room

however, this is not the problem, what he is really struggling with is her crying. Every time she cries he gets so upset that he s hysterical, it takes longer to calm him down than it does her! He is genuinely upset, it's not or attention he is very upset and I really don't know what to do. We have tried taking her in a different room, jut ignoring it as if there's nothing wrong, explaining to him that she's ok and is just crying because she's hungry etc but now she only has to sneeze and he starts crying.

I'm just wondering if anyonelse has experienced this or has any suggestions? The health visitor said she doesn't know what to suggest because she's never come across it before so I'm stumped!

Thanks
Rachael

Anonymous

11/03/2013 at 11:19 pm

Anyone?? X

Anonymous

11/03/2013 at 11:33 pm

hey there rachael
That must be very upsetting to see him walk out the room and cry whenever she cries.
I think the best best is to try and comfort your Little one and include him as much as you can with it.
so that he feels like he part of it and try and get them to bound more i don't think its jealousy as much but more of a comfort thing and that he is panicked by her crying hope you find something to help him settle into being a big brother

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Michaela C(90)

12/03/2013 at 12:15 pm

I know he's a boy, but would it help to get a doll and 'play babies' with him to help him understand how babies act? Or have a look online for any books to help toddlers understand baby brothers/sisters? Book club has good toddler books that help teach certain situations. From what I hear from my friends all their toddlers hate it when babies cry and some say 'make it stop!' - as if they aren't already trying, ha ha! I think they just ride it out xx

Anonymous

13/03/2013 at 3:12 pm

Hi ladies thanks for your replies. Yes he has a baby jake doll and a bottle of milk

we do explain to him why she's crying and are all smiley reassuring him that she's ok she's just hungry and get him to bring the bottle f milk over etc but if she is crying he won't go near her he just gets hysterical, it's only when she's half way through her milk and were burping her he picks the milk up and gives it to me but like I say he has started to just stayin his room if she is in the lounge and when he sees her now he starts to frown and get sad. I hope it is just a phase because I asked the hv and her reply was I don't know what to suggest I've never heard of this before most two year olds are happy and exited with a new arrival!! Like I didn't feel bad enough already lol

Anonymous

13/03/2013 at 3:24 pm

I think it's normal for them to get distressed when the baby cries, even we find it distressing! My little boy was the same, he used to shout and cry, in fact our baby is a year old now and he still yells when she cries. Thank goodness she doesn't cry much now!! All you can do is explain why she's crying and in time it at least he will come to understand the reasons. When he realises he can make her smile everything will fall in to place for him

Anonymous

13/03/2013 at 3:24 pm

Hi

When my dd was born my ds was 2. For the first week he didn't really take much notice of her. Then I started getting him involved by fetching nappies etc. Which helped to a degree but time was the thing which really worked. Over time they have naturally bonded and she laughs the loudest for her big brother and he will ask where she is if my mum has her. She is 8 mths old now and he has completed accepted her.

So just stick with it, get him involved and one day you will see the bond. It just takes time as it's a big change for them and they need to adjust.

xxx

Anonymous

13/03/2013 at 3:27 pm

Forgot to add that my ds also cried when my dd cried and I just found a lot of reassurance worked. Now whenever she cries he shouts baby crying and goes running to see her but not because he s distressed he just wants to help cheer her up. It is so cute to watch.

Anonymous

21/06/2015 at 5:37 pm

How are things now my baby is 8 months and toddler still won't acknowledge him! What did u do x

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Belinda F(41)

13/07/2022 at 2:29 pm

Hi there, I know you posted this a long long time ago but I was just wondering how things turned out and how long it took for things to settle? I have a 7 week old and a 23 month old and my toddler is behaving the exact way you described and I really don’t know what to do at this stage. Thank you

Can't find your answer?

Ed I(2)

10/01/2024 at 4:00 am

In answer to

Belinda F(41)

I'm wondering too. We just found out I'm pregnant. We haven't told our son yet. Years ago he wanted a baby brother. Now he keeps talking about how he never wants a sibling and that he hates babies. I want to cry I don't know what to do and I don't want to ruin our little family because of trying to make our family bigger I guess and just crush and devastate my toddler :( . He's my first and means so much to me. So I'm just hormonally sad sitting here wondering the same thing :(

gu c

10/01/2024 at 4:09 pm

In answer to

Ed I(2)

Hi Ed,

This thread hasn't been active for quite some time, so you might have better luck if you create a new thread here: https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/drop-clinic-984/baby-child-health-989/

If you need any help starting a new thread, just let me know.

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