Dad constantly taking over my new baby.. please help

There's so much more but I can't explain properly..

To a point my son won't settle with me!!!

His dad just takes Iver ALL THE TIME!!!

TO A POINT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY SON ANY MORE!!!!

Wow this sounds terrible and very controlling!

Have you tried speaking to him without baby there? Reassurance him you have brought up your other kids and know what you’re doing.

Is your relationship stable / was it stable before baby?

Sending positive vibes and I hope you get this sorted 💙

Hi

I literally just signed up to Netmums so that I can reply. I was very concerned to read your post.

This is extremely concerning behaviour, and I would look to leave and go to a place of safety.

This behaviour is extremely controlling; at the heart of it he is undermining the bond between mum and baby, which is abusive.

The law was ammended in 2012 to include coercive control, this is a strong example of coercive control.

I would speak to the domestic violence helpline/try women's aid/refuge direct or a domestic violence charity local to you.

Your health visitor may be able to help.

Make sure you get support. There is not as my h awareness of coercive control as there should be. Some professionals don't have as much insight as they should do... Keep trying.

Really wishing you and your children the best xxx

You poor thing? Does your partner not work? Why is he there all the time? Why is he trying to stop you bonding with your baby? Can you say ‘no’ to him? Is there anywhere else you can go? Sorry for all the questions but this is a form of abuse to you and your baby. He is putting his own needs above his baby’s.

Both parents should bond with the baby and stopping breastfeeding? WTF? As someone who couldn’t do it, I am all for it if it is possible.

Sorry but couldn't read and run...

So you've had 4 children and he's teaching you how to do things with your 5th baby?...the fact that you cannot sleep with your baby at night!...when you try to communicate with your baby, he interrupts...he doesn't let you cuddle your baby so you can bond with him...Wow!! This is definitely controlling behaviour...

I would understand that if he's taking the baby from you to give you a break or some rest, but that not the case here.

You need to leave and get out of this relationship as you are being mentally abused.

Apologies, I meant to say ‘you poor thing’. No question. Please do seek active help. Xxx

Yes it is!!! Just gone to bed for a well needed nap, dad comes up and asks me, what does he have for lunch... ( 1 pot of food, a bit of milk bottle if he fussed half way through. More bottle after he has finished, if he continues to fuss give him another flavor of food, he tends to have 1 and a half at lunch, with a bottle)...

I'm fussing, making things awkward..

...sorry?????.... how am I????

I feel like crying!!!!

I'm thinking of just walking out... walking away with my other children!!!

If I bath my son, its wrong, change his nappy, I have to do it his way...

... sorry I'm at breaking point...

Thank you for your reply...

I've tried to speak to him...

He KNOWS IVE IVE HAD OTHER CHILDREN...

3 LIVE WITH ME. MY ELDEST IS 20.

I HAVE A 16 YR OLD, 17 IN APRIL.

1 AT 9YRS OLD AND 1 AT 7YRS OLD..

I TELL HIM, I HAVE HAD CHILDREN BEFORE...

OR DO YOU WANT TO DO IT...

ITS JUST BEST IF I STAY AWAY FROM MY 5 MNTH OLD...

IT JUST CAUSES ARGUMENTS IF I SAY ANYTHING ELSE...

ID LOVE TO PUT MY BABY TO BED ONE NIGHT...

SPEND A FULL NIGHT WITH HIM...

JUST HAVE MY BABY TO ME!!!

THINK I SHOULD GO TO THE DOCTOR TO BE HONEST....

NEED SOME SUPPORT I THINK... LOL

This is one of the worst netmum posts I've read in a long time.

Are you ever alone with the baby and your other children? Get out and do it quickly. This is one of the controlling relationships I've ever heard of, in the most messed up way.

You need more than a doctor. He seems the type to use any reported mental health issues against you when, as far as anything you've said so far, isn't an issue..

This is scary. Wish I could help you, myself.

What an awful man. Do it for yourself and for your babu. The poor baby 🥲

He is older than me...

We met at work, he has just retired.

I'm 37 and he's 65...

I was already going through a 13yr relationship (domestic violence relationship) I can prove all i say!!!

He made me feel special ect...

A very long story short...

5 years into the relationship

We ended up with T...

Unplanned...

But I adored my pregnancy... when he was born... it started...worse than before I fell pregnant...

Freedom programme worker said it was cohersive behaviour... I was going from 1 to another...

I've bonded with my son, to a point... but not as I'd like...

He doesn't really know me, yet I'm home all day to, signed off sick through ptsd, depression ect...

I can't go to a refuge, I have 3 other children....

1 at college who has severe mental disabilities. Learning difficulties.

And a 9 Yr old and a 7 year old...

It's too complicated...

Easy to say.

But this is just me crying out...

On where to turn!!!!

Who to go to!!!

Looking for answers... maybe just to actually go with my other children, leave my baby with him...

But where too???

Where would that leave my children??? After all they've already been through????

It's too hard!!!

Sorry...

You don't know the whole story!!!

DV, children's health and well being, courts, with my ex... now this...

Sorry...

Maybe I need to speak to my doctor...

See what help is available...

If anything

Thank you

I’ve been there thru the Dv, social workers, additional needs children. U need to kick him out. He’s old enough to know better. U deserve better. This won’t get any better the longer u leave it. Good luck.

Hi. I'm so sorry you're going through this! You need to leave as soon as possible as this situation will only get worse! Have you got someone that you can text with? This is coercive control and he's affecting your mental health & yoyr relationship with your child!

Get out now!

This all sounds awful, and very bizarre!

You said you expressed for 2 weeks but couldn't breastfeed... so he stopped you expressing? But you fed in secret? I don't fully understand. Anyway he sounds very controlling, is he like this in other aspects of your lives or is this just since you had the baby? Do you feel frightened of him or able to stand up to him and explain how he us making you feel?

Sorry I've just read your other replies. Your doctor is a good place to start to sign post you.