15 year old daughter is wearing me out with her negativity!
5 answers /
Last post: 21/01/2024 at 10:39 am
My daughter is completely wearing me out. She has to disagree with absolutely everything, if I say it’s warm, she’ll say it’s cold and that goes for almost every single thing anyone says.
She constantly complains about how everyone does more/gets more than her and doesn’t have a good world to say about anything or anyone. I have considered whether she might be depressed but when she’s getting or doing she wants she seems to enjoy it. She does ok at school
and the teachers always say she’s a joy to teach (apart from the chatting and being easily distracted!).
I love her but it is really hard to put her with her constant negativity and disagreeable behaviour her right now and I dread interacting with her most of the time as it almost always leads to an argument.
I know things could be so much worse but it is just so tiring and any advice would be most welcome!
She 15... be honest with her. Tell her how her negativity is making you feel. She will be angry and upset but she's 15, she's not a child and maybe if she understood now that her behavior is dragging people down then maybe she won't become a negative adult.
My sympathies. 15 can be a really difficult age and not only for the 15 year old. Is she like this with everyone or do you feel that you get the brunt of it? It is said that children often reserve their worst behaviour for the people they feel the most secure with i.e usually a parent. Maintaining lines of communication is important I found an effective way was to have a casual chat when we were driving in the car. All sorts of things would be shared that otherwise would not have been. Of course it’s important to keep boundaries too and any unacceptable behaviour called out. And it too will pass just like the toddler tantrums.
Does your daughter have after school activities she does.if so give encouragement on her, is she expected to help with house duties or chores, does she have a pet she takes care of,
If this was my child (I also have teens) I'd be laughing them out of it.
The moment they said something negative I'd be wholeheartedly agreeing with them, very enthusiastically, insisting they were absolutely right and adding a bit in to make it more extreme. So for example:
'These sausages are revolting, they used to be much nicer'
Smiling: 'Totally, absolutely disgusting, they should lock up whoever cooked them'
'This phone is rubbish, it never works'
'Absolutely, hand it here I'll throw it away for you. No one could be expected to allow such an embarrassing phone to be seen in public'
Not aggressive, not critical, just smiling and agreeing. We laugh when our children say overly 'woe is me' things. Usually they will laugh with us.
