Planning a pregnany Over 35

I'm 38 in April

Had my first child at 35

And 2nd child 36

I'm currently pregnant again very early days ...

What isit you would like to know? If I can help I most certainly answer any questions. 😃

Just happily fallen pregnant with my second at 41. Having a child earlier in life would have been hugely irresponsible for various social and economic reason. This I the right time for me and my family and we are excited.

Hi Lousie

As a professional London Nanny I worked for MANY mothers who where first time mums in their mid/late 30s. It’s so much more common now. (Having a career before a family).

I myself have 7,4 and 18 month, we had a miscarriage on Christmas Day and will try again soon, which means I’ll be at least 35 and half by the time we have no.4.

Its really no body else’s business.

Oh ignore them! Who is saying this? SO MANY women have babies over 35 now, it's really normal and common and fine! Also everyone is different. There isn't a sudden change at 35 for everyone, it's just a generalisation. I got pregnant at 35 no issues at all, healthy pregnancy (second one), had her at 36 and she's now nearly 9 months old. I'm shattered but I don't think that is because of my age, I think it's cos I have 2 children and a don't sleep much! My older daughter is 5 and in her class there are lots of mums in their 40s, a few in their mid-late 40s i would say. We are all the same, no one bats an eye lid. I have friends having healthy pregnancies now in their late 30s too. Go for it 😊

It's no one's business. Last year at the tender age of 45 I had my first child. My daughter is nearly 1. Was born healthy and I'm good too. Alot of people were shocked and thought I had IVF but all natural, the doctors used me as an example for Women in their 30s who think they are too old. Go for it

I had baby no 3 at 37, no 4 at 41 and no 5 a month before my 44th Birthday 💕

she is now 9, I am 53 and there is another 53 year old mum in her class☺️

Do you and whatever is best for you and your family and don’t worry about anyone else😊

37is not old I didn’t have a son till I was 45/47 n that was by accedient I didn’t even know it was a complete shock to everybody but I would never have a another one too much hard work.But iv know people to have children at age of 60now that is mad.think of when they get to 10/13 maybe they will be a granny( mother).Are you crazy don’t think so.

I had my baby at 40yrs old. The pregnancy went well, there was a bit of scare mongering initially about down syndrome but the bloodtest came back that it was a low chance. I did have SPD but I would have had that at any age. He was a huge healthy baby. They let me go 15days overdue and I was booked into hospital where they tried to start me off several times but unfortunately years ago after a smear test id had some abnormal cells cut away that as it turned out that would not allow my cervix to open so they then planned a C section but even with that they didn't rush and put it back twice due to other emergencys. Other than that the op went well. My friend same age and pregnant around the same time had a more difficult pregnancy with bleeding and later on the baby stopped growing so they were worried and an early birth was planned. She was tiny little thing when born but has grown up fine. There are both 4 years old now and go to the same nursery :-) As I write this I've just finished reading him his bedtime stories and he's fallen asleep in bed, his head resting on my lap. I really try to cherish all these moments as before I know it he'll be grown up. We would have liked another but I've never got pregnant again since having him. I'm just so very grateful we have him. If you want another I'd say go for it xx

Ignore those people. I only started trying in my 30s- first child I was nearly 31 and second was almost 36.

hi, I had my last child in my late 30s. He is disabled so our decision to have one more turned out to be life changing. My other children, born in my mid 30s are healthy. Statistically the risk of miscarriage and having a child with certain disabilities do go up the older you are. But it can happen to anyone. Two of my SEN child's classmates mums were in their 20s, two were in their early 30s, only one other was a similar age to me. 

Many women have children well into their 40s without any issues. Nobody can tell you whether or not it'll be okay for you. You just have to decide whether you want another based on your own personal circumstances.

I don’t think your age is an issue, although it’s a lot more physically demanding - I had my last one at 34 and it was a lot harder than the one Inhad at 29!! However, I would really think through the impact of having another baby now on your three older children and also seriously consider the financial side of things too. Food and clothing prices aren’t going to drop for the foreseeable future and a new born can also be quite restrictive for older children, as well as for if you if you want to start doing more with them. If you’ve been worried about being homeless in the last few years, but things are now improving.. maybe now is time to focus on quality of life for the older kids? Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Hi Louise.

I had my first and only at 40 years. I had the easiest, most natural birth of any of the group of Mum's that I met at Anti-natal and Hypno classes and my son was born healthy.

It turns out that he has mild ASD but given the eccentric scientists in my husband's family, I think that would have been a possibility whatever my age!

Having said that, I like Louise's answer where she suggests that you consider your financial prospects and perhaps focus on the children you already have.

An additional thought that I had was that maybe your longing for a fourth child is a sign that you haven't healed from the loss of your previous unexpected pregnancy and I'm not sure that grief is the best reason for trying again.

So, while I don't think age need be a negative factor, I do think that futire finances and the wellbeing of yourself and the rest of your children are things that you need to weigh carefully.

Wishing you all the best, whatever you decide.

Hi Louise.

Back in 2012, after my mother died - and a particularly rough time at work, I decided that life was about family and tried for a third baby. Maybe psychologically, I was thinking that time could be running out. So at 38, I gave birth to a second son. My other two children were 9 and 6.

Everything was amazing. I loved motherhood and my year off with all of them. But fast forward and they're now 19 (nearly 20), 17 and 10. I'm also likely peri-menopausal, aged 48. I don't feel particularly old and I'm certainly not the oldest Mum out of the Year 5 parents. But, husband is older than me - and at some point we want to kick back, take more holidays. Enjoy our own lives a little more rather than always thinking about outlay and just having to plan and organise children's lives.

School / university / everything is expensive. When I told my Mum before she died, that I was thinking about a third, she said (and I remember her words vividly). "Just focus on looking after the ones you've got." Personally, if I were you, I'd think very carefully. It's not how you feel now. It's how you're feel in your 50's with a teenager. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it'll be the right decision.

xxxxx

I’m 41 and had my 4 month baby at 40, we were trying for 2 years and I lost a baby at 13 weeks from a missed miscarriage and didn’t know until we went for the scan. That hid so hard as we didn’t want the heartbreak again but we agreed if it happened one more time we would not try again. A year later I conceived on my 40th birthday (never drinking shots again) anyway the pregnancy was really hard as every day thought something was going to happen and then 35 weeks my blood pressure sky rocketed so was induced at 37 weeks and I had my very happy healthy content baby girl. I do have 3 other children 21,16 and 10 but my 10 year old from an abusive ex went to live with her dad when I got with my new partner. My baby daughter is my rainbow baby I adore her and wouldn’t change anything I love been a mom again and have every second to secure to her.