No Affection

Hi Max

I’m Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thanks for sharing with us. It sounds like there are lots of positive things about your relationship but you would like more intimacy. Lots of couples find that sex and intimacy can change over time particularly during times of stress or if you have small kids.

Its sounds like you’ve tried to talk to your wife about this but would it be helpful to chat it through with someone neutral like a counsellor? Relate offer relationship advice- both as a couple and as an individual. I’ll link it here in case it might be helpful : https://www.relate.org.uk/what-we-do

Catherine

Yes sex slows down a bit once married, had kids etc but no it shouldn't stop all together, have you talked to her about how your feeling? Explained that you wouldn't reject her, has she always been like this or is this new? Will she explain things to you about how she's feeling, is she depressed? Lost her sex drive? Changed medication? Just to name a few possible reasons. I actually put a similar post on a few days ago about my partner.

Hope my advice helps

Jen

so I’m the wife in the same situation but we have 6 kids 16,15,14,10,8 and 2 I am absolutely knackered I don’t get the time too even pee on my own without out our 2yr old wanting to sit on my knee! I always say to my husband if he actually helped me just a little bit than I would be more loving and affectionate towards him! Right now I literally have 0 love and affection for myself never mind him! Iv not slept a full nights sleep since our 2yr old was born we have no family for support it’s just me that runs the whole ship while he goes to work but even when he’s home from work or days off he literally doesn’t do a thing unless I nag him to do it and then he wonders why I’m tired and moody and not affectionate! .. just my advice is to maybe help take load of life of her shoulders even just a little the little things means sooooo much!! Make her a cuppa when she least expects it, let her has a sleep in and take over the kids if you have them .. do the dishes every now and then, even put the washing machine them type of things will show her your a team and I promise she will be all over you!!! I wish my husband would just listen to me doing them things really would turn me on!! 🤣🤣🤣

Sex is everything to men, it helps us sleep better and feel loved and connected, however to women alot of them can take it or leave it and even get bored before the man does (even if your don juan demarco in bed) maybe change it up , can you afford a hotel room or similar? Most women dont want to instigate it as your the one who has to be stimulated to get it going, you dont want to be floppy, i see you dont feel loved if she doesnt start things, well one of you has to give in. How long have you been together? Do you argue?

Most women dont want to instigate it as your the one who has to be stimulated to get it going

Is this for real? So women don't need to be stimulated? It honestly sounds like you're suggesting that once he's hard that's all that is needed.

Id say some want lots of foreplay before intercourse, and some want to just smack it.

just that he said she was scared of rejection, why would he reject her? Pyhisically or mentally? Is he tired?

Everyones different.. living in this metoo# movement people are shouting rape alot, asking your partner to make love is kinda the law believe it or not, yet the most unpassionate thing in the world ( to me), yet some probably need to actually ask once in a while.. whatever floats your boat