Should I worry
8 answers /
Last post: 23/02/2024 at 4:06 pm
Hi all! I’ve posted before and had mixed reviews. Please don’t judge.
im worried my partner has been cheating or is preparing to.
shortly before Xmas there were some questionable texts on her phone from a colleague. She hadn’t replied anything other than laughing faces. She said it wasn’t the context in which I’d read it. It was clear she’d been chatting to him in an overly familiar context but nothing super alarming I wa s’more concerned that he’d felt comfortable enough to comment about his penis size to his boss. That’s what made me uneasy.
I kinda accepted it. Moved on
however more recently she went out with a friend to a local pub ended up walking in at 4 am. Very not like her to be honest and that wasn’t an issue. However we’d been texting through the night up until about 2am when all went quiet. She said she’d ended up going to her mates house they’d walked there ( a good 30 minutes sober) this was despite her being closer to home at said pub. Then she said she’d must have fell asleep on the sofa. This friend is lovely but she is a single woman with a history I know how bad that sounds.
I just cannot work out why they didn’t get a taxi and drop the other off or come here and get a cab for her mate.
my jealous side thinks maybe her and her mate have pulled or her mate has and she’s gone back with them rather than come home.
is it likely somethings happened am I right to feel this way. Or have they just been super drunk and silly !
Hi Chris
I'm Catherine one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. You've shared with us that you are 'worried my partner has been cheating or is preparing to'. Chris, have you been able to openly share this worry with your partner and chat about how you are feeling? Could you ask her directly about your worries so you can have some clear answers? If a friend was in this situation Chris, what would you tell them to do? Some couples can find it helpful to have someone neutral, like a counsellor, to support them to have these conversations. I'll link the Relate website here in case you think that would be helpful: Counselling services | Relate
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon to offer support. If you would like to chat some more, please pop over to our drop in clinic and start a new post.
Catherine
So your wife messaged you the whole time, apart from 2-4am, and despite her also coming back home for 4am, you're questioning whether she's cheating? You seem very possessive. I've also read a few of your other posts...I think you should seek therapy. You're very lucky she is still with you without sounding too harsh but that's the reality.
So your wife messaged you the whole time, apart from 2-4am, and despite her also coming back home for 4am, you're questioning whether she's cheating? You seem very possessive. I've also read a few of your other posts...I think you should seek therapy. You're very lucky she is still with you without sounding too harsh but that's the reality.
No I replied to her messages I never initiate contact on nights out as I like her to be able to switch off from life.
I am the literal opposite of possessive, I’m unsure how that’s come across but I will be mindful in future.
my worries come from the fact that contact suddenly was dead at the time she was apparently walking back to her friends house and she’s decided to walk 35 mins in the opposite direction to home rather than come home. Also the 4am thing is ver unusual for her then she arrives home stating she’d fell asleep at said friends. So my time line Loks like leaves bar at 2am walks to friends and arrives at 2.30 fall asleep for one hour then comes back home! Seems strange to me! I could be wildly wrong and off the mark. I was wondering if people thought. There was anything in it or if I was just going a little crazy.
No I replied to her messages I never initiate contact on nights out as I like her to be able to switch off from life.
I am the literal opposite of possessive, I’m unsure how that’s come across but I will be mindful in future.
my worries come from the fact that contact suddenly was dead at the time she was apparently walking back to her friends house and she’s decided to walk 35 mins in the opposite direction to home rather than come home. Also the 4am thing is ver unusual for her then she arrives home stating she’d fell asleep at said friends. So my time line Loks like leaves bar at 2am walks to friends and arrives at 2.30 fall asleep for one hour then comes back home! Seems strange to me! I could be wildly wrong and off the mark. I was wondering if people thought. There was anything in it or if I was just going a little crazy.
I have many times gone back to a friends thinking we want to carry on the party, only to crash out before finishing the first drink we pour.
It's highly unlikely she was on the pull if she was messaging you while she was out.
No I replied to her messages I never initiate contact on nights out as I like her to be able to switch off from life.
I am the literal opposite of possessive, I’m unsure how that’s come across but I will be mindful in future.
my worries come from the fact that contact suddenly was dead at the time she was apparently walking back to her friends house and she’s decided to walk 35 mins in the opposite direction to home rather than come home. Also the 4am thing is ver unusual for her then she arrives home stating she’d fell asleep at said friends. So my time line Loks like leaves bar at 2am walks to friends and arrives at 2.30 fall asleep for one hour then comes back home! Seems strange to me! I could be wildly wrong and off the mark. I was wondering if people thought. There was anything in it or if I was just going a little crazy.
I never said you initiated contact??? Yes you're crazy and need to get some help like I said. You have even gone so far as to create a "timeline"?! You need to get in reality - she would surely need much longer than 1 hour to cheat and why would she come home at 4am if she was on the pull. I just hope she comes to her senses and gets out of this marriage.
I never said you initiated contact??? Yes you're crazy and need to get some help like I said. You have even gone so far as to create a "timeline"?! You need to get in reality - she would surely need much longer than 1 hour to cheat and why would she come home at 4am if she was on the pull. I just hope she comes to her senses and gets out of this marriage.
I’ve not created it as such I just meant in my head. Theres been a few other things going on to be honest I’ve not detailed everything here. I was assuming perhaps it had happened sour of the moment.
i sincerely hope I am wrong and it’s all in my head.
people would come at 4 knowing they can’t explain staying out all night ? I Dunno that’s why I was asking ? I’m not sure why you think she’d need to get out. I’m doing the best I can.
I have many times gone back to a friends thinking we want to carry on the party, only to crash out before finishing the first drink we pour.
It's highly unlikely she was on the pull if she was messaging you while she was out.
Very possibly just this ! Will keep in mind thank you
