Anxiety - did I do something I can’t remember?!
3 answers /
Last post: 29/01/2024 at 7:04 am
So I’ve suffered with relationship anxiety all my life (not had the best relationships in the past and been through some trauma). I’ve been with my partner now for 3 years and we’ve just found out I’m pregnant. It wasn’t planned but we had said if it happens, it happens. When we did the clear blue week test, it said I was 2-3 weeks pregnant and when we thought back to 2-3 weeks prior, we had sex only twice in that time frame and we’d also been out with friends and drinking. Now, I often will think of “worst case scenarios” and I know I have “irrational thoughts” and all of a sudden (on the day I found out I was pregnant), I thought, “what if I was that drunk when we were out and I slept with someone and I can’t remember it. And what if the baby is not my partners?” I can totally see how this is irrational. I’ve never done anything like that before. But I keep thinking that we had a fall-out both nights we were out and what if I got so angry at him I slept with someone else? But I can remember both nights we were out and, although there are some gaps in my memory (as there usually is when you’re drunk), I’m sure I’d remember sleeping with someone else. I feel so crippled and it’s affecting EVERYTHING I do. I’ve spoke to my partner about it and he says I’m being silly but I can’t seem to shake it off. I don’t know what I went to gain from posting this on here but I just wanted to try and see if it helps anyway.
I’m 32 years old, this is my first pregnancy, I love my partner but we do have arguments every now and then as we’re both very fiery. I’m on anti depressants anyway for anxiety and I’ve been to therapy in the past for worrying I’ve done something on a night out that I can’t remember. Please can someone help?
Hi Rebecca,
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thanks for sharing with us. It sounds like finding out you are pregnant may have had re-triggered an anxiety you have previously experienced. Does that sounds right? Did you find therapy helped in the past? If so, could you contact your therapist again and explain the thoughts you have and see if it might possible to re engage with them again? Or could your reach out to your GP and ask if they could signpost you for support? It sounds like you have good support too from your partner, can you keep chatting to him and let him know if your thoughts or anxiety gets any worse?
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon to offer support but if you would like to chat some more, you can start a new post in our drop in clinic.
Catherine
Hi Rebecca,
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thanks for sharing with us. It sounds like finding out you are pregnant may have had re-triggered an anxiety you have previously experienced. Does that sounds right? Did you find therapy helped in the past? If so, could you contact your therapist again and explain the thoughts you have and see if it might possible to re engage with them again? Or could your reach out to your GP and ask if they could signpost you for support? It sounds like you have good support too from your partner, can you keep chatting to him and let him know if your thoughts or anxiety gets any worse?
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon to offer support but if you would like to chat some more, you can start a new post in our drop in clinic.
Catherine
Thank you Catherine, I was worried I had posted this incorrectly at first.
Thank you so much for your reply, it’s difficult because I know I’m being irrational but I can’t shake it from my head.
I have a midwife appointment this week and a doctors appointment in the next few weeks to discuss the medication I am on so I will mention it then and hope they can steer me in the right direction. I’m just worried that with the lengthy wait times for the nhs that it will be a long wait for therapy.
I might write this on the drop in clinic too if that’s okay. I had tried to do that but couldn’t find an appropriate place to post it.
I feel I need reassurance but I know that in the past, I’ve craved that so much and it started to become unhealthy.
I guess I’m just curious if I’m the only one who feels this way or if anyone else is experiencing it too? Not sure what help that would give me but at least I’d know I’m not alone.
