Dutch kids are the happiest in the world – here are 6 things Dutch parents never do
Charlie Bond
Netmums contributorKids in the Netherlands are the happiest in the world, and it could be to do with how they’re parented
A UNICEF study of 41 countries found that children from the Netherlands were the happiest in the world. Kids in the country also scored highest when it came to mental wellbeing and ranked in the top 10 for skills and physical health.
By contrast, the UK was ranked 27th overall, coming behind most of Europe, Japan and the Republic of Korea.
The results, which were released in July this year, also showed that the UK scored particularly badly for mental health, coming in 29th place, making it one of the worst countries in the world for children’s mental wellbeing.
So what is it that the Netherlands is getting so right?
One child psychologist reckons she knows. While economics, politics and other factors obviously play a part, as a Dutch parent, Veronique van der Kleij’s shared her tips on the 6 things people in her country never do when it comes to parenting.
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1. They don’t drive if they can cycle
The Netherlands has a huge cycling culture, and kids are taught to ride a bike from a young age. Veronique reckons the children are so happy because they’re taught independence and are allowed to cycle to and from school by themselves once they get to 9 or 10, rather than being driven by their parents.
2. They don’t helicopter parent
Helicopter parenting is when you hover over your kids and watch them closely, but in the Netherlands that’s not how it’s done. If you take your child to a playground, the parents sit and watch from the sidelines rather than getting involved in what their child’s doing.
‘It’s very common to see Dutch kids run free on the playground without too much supervision’ says Veronique. ‘Children are encouraged from a young age to explore their surroundings, to believe in themselves and to dust themselves off when they fall.’
3. They don’t work more than 40 hours a week
Something we’re famed for in the UK is our long working days – in fact, we have a longer working week than most of Europe. A 2022 study from Eurostat found that we average 41 hours a week compared with the Netherland’s 38 hours.
Veronique reckons it’s the work life balance that Dutch parents have that keeps their kids happy – around half of all Dutch people work part time, and dads also take one day off a week to spend with their children (known as a ‘papaday’).
4. They don’t eat meals separately from their kids
Parents in the Netherlands like to have meals as a family so that they can talk about their days with their children. So instead of them eating their dinner once the kids are in bed they make a point of bringing everyone together at the dinner table.
5. They don’t get rid of structure
In the Netherlands, kids are taught ‘rust, reinheid, regelmaat,’ which roughly translates to ‘rest, cleanliness, and structure.’ It means they're given a clear schedule for their day and know what to expect.
Parents are also strict on nap and bedtime schedules and prioritise stability for their kids. Veronique says this helps children to ‘feel safe and comfortable exploring the unknown.’
6. They don’t say ‘because I said so’
A common way for an argument between a child and a parent to end is with the parent saying ‘because I said so’, but in the Netherlands, parents don’t say their opinion is the last word.
‘Dutch parents want to make their kids feel both seen and heard. They involve their children in the decision-making process as soon as they can understand language and communicate,’ explains Veronique.
‘This way, kids learn to negotiate and set their personal boundaries from a young age. When we ask for our children’s opinions and truly listen to them, they’ll be more likely to develop a sense of positive self-worth.’
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