Favouritism
6 answers /
Last post: 12/02/2024 at 11:10 am
Its my milestone birthday in a few months and I sent something to my mum about us all doing something for it (going away for 2 nights in a cabin) and she ignored it and replied about getting my brother a present if he gets a promotion.
This is the second time I’ve suggested something and the first time she ignored the message and again replied about something else. When it came to her and his previous milestone birthdays it’s all we talked about and had to do numerous things for them and also we’re already talking about my brother next milestone birthday.
I’m feeling completely deflated, I always put effort and thought into everyone’s birthday and to just be ignored or to changed the subject is making me feel low.
Am I overreacting? I just feel like not speaking to my mum at the moment because it’s always about everyone else
Maybe they’re planning a surprise for you?
Why not speak to her and not just a text? Whenever I've planned anything like that with my mum/daughter/friends we've discussed options first then made a group chat if there's been a few of us or text after that.
They could also be planning something for you 🤷♀️
Parents can be toxic too. If you always felt like you were treated differently to your siblings growing up you likely still seek your mom’s approval as a an adult because you never felt accepted. I would just leave her to it. Stop breaking your own heart by looking to your mom for something she can’t/wont give you for whatever reason. Just accept the situation for what it is and make plans with people that want to spend your milestone with you. It probably sounds harsh but I’m speaking from experience.
Agree with above reply. Make plans without her. And don’t put up with toxic behaviour, even if she is your mum!
Hope you have a wonderful birthday x
I totally feel you, my mum has always favoured my younger sister.
I turned 40 a little over a year ago and it wasn’t a big deal, my parents got me a purse. My sister is 40 next year and mum is talking about us all going away for the weekend. I won’t be going.
My husband and brother in law were 40 a few months ago and she spent more on the for their gift than mine.
actions speak louder than words and I’ve had enough.
if I was in your position of organise something with my own family (if you have kids) or just my partner/friends and not invite your mum etc.
