6 year old can't control her emotions
11 answers /
Last post: 24/02/2024 at 8:55 pm
Anonymous
24/04/2016 at 11:12 pm
Hi all, I'm just trying to reach out to see if any one else has experienced similar behaviour in their children.
My little lady is usually a very polite, loving and bubbly child.
For the last couple of months we have been experiencing a very different side to her... It seems she can't control her emotions. She is over thinking a lot of things and becoming upset because The things she is thinking are nasty thoughts. Examples are people being fat not wanting me to be her mummy anymore some people are ugly. This has got the better of me as when she is getting upset she is totally heart broken and it's the hardest thing I've witnessed as no matter what I try I don't seem to be able to help. I've tried talking to her about it and I always get the same response of "I don't know why I'm thinking like this" I've tried having a special diary just for us to leave notes on each others beds if we feel we are unable to say things, again we get the same response. I bought her a little diary with a padlock and key so she could write her nasty thoughts and lock them away... and I peeped and was horrified with what I read. I didn't know these kind of thoughts ran through a 6 year old head. With the thoughts occasionally comes a massive melt down and this is where she'll shout things like we don't want her to be part of the family and we don't love her etc. It can go on for upto 3 hours before we can calm her down. (She becomes so worked up she can't even catch her breath) This again Is heart breaking to see her go as she says she doesn't understand what's happening to her. I've spoke to our gp with regards to this and the only joy I got was to involve the school nurse... However, I can't see how this is going to help as it's not happening at school.
Has anyone else experienced this with their little ones? If so can't you please hand me some pointers to help my little lady through this. Thank you. Xxx
My little lady is usually a very polite, loving and bubbly child.
For the last couple of months we have been experiencing a very different side to her... It seems she can't control her emotions. She is over thinking a lot of things and becoming upset because The things she is thinking are nasty thoughts. Examples are people being fat not wanting me to be her mummy anymore some people are ugly. This has got the better of me as when she is getting upset she is totally heart broken and it's the hardest thing I've witnessed as no matter what I try I don't seem to be able to help. I've tried talking to her about it and I always get the same response of "I don't know why I'm thinking like this" I've tried having a special diary just for us to leave notes on each others beds if we feel we are unable to say things, again we get the same response. I bought her a little diary with a padlock and key so she could write her nasty thoughts and lock them away... and I peeped and was horrified with what I read. I didn't know these kind of thoughts ran through a 6 year old head. With the thoughts occasionally comes a massive melt down and this is where she'll shout things like we don't want her to be part of the family and we don't love her etc. It can go on for upto 3 hours before we can calm her down. (She becomes so worked up she can't even catch her breath) This again Is heart breaking to see her go as she says she doesn't understand what's happening to her. I've spoke to our gp with regards to this and the only joy I got was to involve the school nurse... However, I can't see how this is going to help as it's not happening at school.
Has anyone else experienced this with their little ones? If so can't you please hand me some pointers to help my little lady through this. Thank you. Xxx
0
Anonymous
25/04/2016 at 12:47 am
Ah god how awful what a shame, I have a 6 yr old little boy and could t imagine him saying stuff like that, is everything ok at school? How do you know kids at school aren't telling her stuff you know kids can be cruel! I'd speak to her teacher and mention it to the school so they can keep an eye out, if it's nothing at home that can be making her feel like this then maybe it's from school! Poor little lady I hope you get to the bottom of it all xx
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Anonymous
25/04/2016 at 5:57 am
Aww bless her totally heart breaking I have a 6 year old little boy and it would kill me to hear stuff like that ,, like pp says kids can be cruel and if nothing at home then I would be looking at school. Don't know how much this will help but worth a try , with my little boy I get nothing from sitting down with him and having a ' chat' so I've had to adapt to get him to open up . I will usually get colouring books for us and we lie on the floor colouring in and I start to talk about when I was in school and the other children I involve funny , sad and nasty experiences but make it all light hearted and before you know it he's sharing his experiences with me all the while I'm concentrating on colouring in as is he and most of the time we get to the bottom of it , we pack up the colours and I take it from there and he's completely oblivious as I don't make it an issue I just carry on as normal. Another I try is roll play we all pretend where some of the other children in class and my little boy will tell us how that child acts towards him which helps us understand the dynamics of the group my little man finds this hilarious even if me and dad start acting out a situation where he got hit or pushed called the previous day, maybe something like this will help you little one ?? Xx
0
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Anonymous
25/04/2016 at 7:55 am
In answer to
Anonymous
Aww bless her totally heart breaking I have a 6 year old little boy and it would kill me to hear stuff like that ,, like pp says kids can be cruel and if nothing at home then I would be looking at school. Don't know how much this will help but worth a try , with my little boy I get nothing from sitting down with him and having a ' chat' so I've had to adapt to get him to open up . I will usually get colouring books for us and we lie on the floor colouring in and I start to talk about when I was in school and the other children I involve funny , sad and nasty experiences but make it all light hearted and before you know it he's sharing his experiences with me all the while I'm concentrating on colouring in as is he and most of the time we get to the bottom of it , we pack up the colours and I take it from there and he's completely oblivious as I don't make it an issue I just carry on as normal. Another I try is roll play we all pretend where some of the other children in class and my little boy will tell us how that child acts towards him which helps us understand the dynamics of the group my little man finds this hilarious even if me and dad start acting out a situation where he got hit or pushed called the previous day, maybe something like this will help you little one ?? Xx
I agree nicola I do the same with my 6 yr boy with the colouring thing & "when I was you age" it always seems to catch his attention and then before I know it his opening up to me about what's bothering him or what's making him happy! It's heart breaking I hope she gets to the bottom of it I couldn't imagine my little man saying stuff like that I'd be gutted [emoji30]
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Anonymous
25/04/2016 at 8:05 am
Thanks for your reply.
I have spoken to school about this and they've not noticed any changes I've also walked past her playground on some of my days off to see if she is ok and she's as happy as Larry running round with her friends. I have an appt at school Wednesday morning to have a chat with the family liason officer at school so hopefully this will be positive. I will try the when I was younger conversation while doing some crafts etc. Thanks again. X
I have spoken to school about this and they've not noticed any changes I've also walked past her playground on some of my days off to see if she is ok and she's as happy as Larry running round with her friends. I have an appt at school Wednesday morning to have a chat with the family liason officer at school so hopefully this will be positive. I will try the when I was younger conversation while doing some crafts etc. Thanks again. X
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Tal J
25/04/2016 at 8:16 am
It sounds like she is suffering from intrusive thoughts I'm not an expert but it's all tied up with obsessive compulsive disorder and being very anxious, I did suffer from intrusive thoughts as a teen though and it's pretty scary when you don't know what's going on or why it's happening, it can lead to sleepless nights which makes the problem worse.
One thing you should be aware having read her diary (please don't ever tell her) is that people having intrusive thoughts are the least likely to do the things they feel they are afraid of doing, ie she might write that she can't stop thinking about pushing someone in front of a train (random example) but she is actually terrified that she might accidentally do it somehow because she's thinking it, this of course isn't going to happen but the fear that it might is terrifying.
I think you need to tell her that what she is thinking and feeling is actually really normal, everybody thinks those things sometimes but in some people they become something called intrusive thoughts and then those people can't stop thinking of them. BUT if she can just be ok with the fact that she thinks them sometimes and she's not going to actually do or say them just because she thinks them then that stops them from being able to make her feel so bad and soon they will go away.
It might be worth getting her some help for anxiety if it's available, it may not be something specific causing the anxiety (or it might) she may just be an anxious person (anxiety issues run in our family for example) xxx
One thing you should be aware having read her diary (please don't ever tell her) is that people having intrusive thoughts are the least likely to do the things they feel they are afraid of doing, ie she might write that she can't stop thinking about pushing someone in front of a train (random example) but she is actually terrified that she might accidentally do it somehow because she's thinking it, this of course isn't going to happen but the fear that it might is terrifying.
I think you need to tell her that what she is thinking and feeling is actually really normal, everybody thinks those things sometimes but in some people they become something called intrusive thoughts and then those people can't stop thinking of them. BUT if she can just be ok with the fact that she thinks them sometimes and she's not going to actually do or say them just because she thinks them then that stops them from being able to make her feel so bad and soon they will go away.
It might be worth getting her some help for anxiety if it's available, it may not be something specific causing the anxiety (or it might) she may just be an anxious person (anxiety issues run in our family for example) xxx
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Anonymous
25/04/2016 at 8:20 am
Thanks Tal j. It's funny you mention the OCD thing as this was playing on my mind due to not being able to leave the house until her laces were in a perfectly straight line. A few wisps of hair out of place. A tiny spot of dirt, pen , play doh or paint on her etc... This also leads to some of the melt downs. X
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Tal J
25/04/2016 at 11:16 am
In answer to
Anonymous
Thanks Tal j. It's funny you mention the OCD thing as this was playing on my mind due to not being able to leave the house until her laces were in a perfectly straight line. A few wisps of hair out of place. A tiny spot of dirt, pen , play doh or paint on her etc... This also leads to some of the melt downs. X
The other thing I would be careful of (and this is only my opinion) is that you are quite firm but in a positive way with her and don't enable her to become obsessive with things as they only tend to spiral or get worse if the are allowed to until it can take over everything. BUT it will genuinely be stressful for her so you might need to ensure you have time and patience to deal with situations as it can be frustrating. If she won't leave the house because she has a mark on her top then perhaps make a mark on your top and laugh and joke about it and make it into a positive funny thing, and seeing you cope with it will hopefully help her. Same with her hair if she's worried about a bit out of place then perhaps turn your head upside down and ruffle all your hair till you look a bit mad and make her laugh (hopefully).
You may find you have to be a little bit careful what you say to her, she will not need a lot of talks about the dangers or germs, how vital it is to wash your hands after going toilet etc because she is more likely to go the other way and really worry about these things. She may benefit from you being quite laid back and relaxed about things to hopefully help reduce her anxiety as she sounds like a sensitive little girl. Don't avoid situations though, find ways to help her to cope with them instead. xxx
You may find you have to be a little bit careful what you say to her, she will not need a lot of talks about the dangers or germs, how vital it is to wash your hands after going toilet etc because she is more likely to go the other way and really worry about these things. She may benefit from you being quite laid back and relaxed about things to hopefully help reduce her anxiety as she sounds like a sensitive little girl. Don't avoid situations though, find ways to help her to cope with them instead. xxx
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Kara P(39)
23/02/2024 at 10:50 pm
Hi, I'm currently going through a very similar thing with my 7 year old daughter. I know it was a long time ago but I'd be really interested to hear how you dealt with it and how your daughter is now 🙏
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Health Visitor Tracey
24/02/2024 at 5:13 pm
Hi Kara
You may have noticed you have posted on quite an old thread, this means you may not get a reply from the OP
If you'd like support from the Netmums Parent Supporter team please do start a thread of your own and we will try to help.
Best wishes
Tracey HV
0
Can't find your answer?
Kara P(39)
24/02/2024 at 8:55 pm
In answer to
Health Visitor Tracey
Hi Kara
You may have noticed you have posted on quite an old thread, this means you may not get a reply from the OP
If you'd like support from the Netmums Parent Supporter team please do start a thread of your own and we will try to help.
Best wishes
Tracey HV
Hi Tracey,
Ok I'll give it a go. Thank you
1
