Son coming up to 18. He has no friends and I'm worried

13 answers /

Last post: 25/12/2023 at 1:33 pm

Anonymous

24/02/2015 at 8:48 am

My son is 18 in a few weeks. He has an apprenticeship he loves and goes to college on day release. My problem is he has no friends or social life. He's given up football (which he did from age 6). We lost my father-in-law at Christmas and I know this hit him hard. He was very close to Grandad. I know times have changed but I look back to my social life at 18 and there really was no time to sleep. How can I help him make friends?

Anonymous

26/02/2015 at 10:38 pm

Hi Claire,

We are all very different and some teenagers are more solitary than others. I know it is unusual and I imagine it is worrying

I wonder if your son is happy with his circumstances or would he like to make some friends too?

If he is happy, then it's time to come to terms with this is who he is. It's great that he loves his apprenticeship - it sounds like he is focused on that just now. I do think there is a difference between a male and female need for friendships.

If he is unhappy and wants to reach out to others, could you chat with him about how this could work. Maybe he might decide to start a new hobby where he will meet people with similar interests? Does he talk about anyone he is at college with - you could encourage him to strike up a friendship there?

It is very difficult though - the effort and the change, if he wants it, is going to need to come from him. All you can do, is be there to support him if he lets you

If you think that it may be that he is still coming to terms with the loss of his Grandad, do you think he would go to some sort of bereavement counselling? You can find out more about this here: Homepage | Cruse Bereavement Care

I hope this helps a little.

Adele

Anonymous

10/03/2015 at 6:10 pm

I have the same problem with my son. 18 no friends (well friends in college) but rarely sees them outside of college. He won't talk about it, I think he pretends he isn't bothered, but I know he is. He is bright, good looking, but lacks confidence and self esteem. I'm also worried and feel at a loss as how to help, at this age it's difficult to step in to try and help. I'm hoping that my son will develop his social skills if he goes to University/or gets a summer job, and eventually finds his way in life, and I hope your son will do the same as well.

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Anonymous

13/03/2015 at 8:46 am

Adele lay out some good points there

try to ask your boy first if he enjoying his time alone, if he do, then just hug all the circumstances. If not, maybe a talking to him will enlighten things.

Anonymous

16/03/2015 at 2:59 pm

Hi I have the same problem it's very upsetting and I wish that I could help at least they are not out taking drugs etc But feel like he is missing so much...

michelle s(758)

19/12/2020 at 9:53 pm

Hello

I’ve just come across this post as I’m worried about my 18year old son. He has no friends and is so down about it which is understandable. My heart breaks for him.
I’m just wondering as this thread was from 5 years ago now what situation your sons are in now. Have they got their friendships established now etc.
I hope things have worked out for you all.

Liz A(767)

27/12/2020 at 12:44 am

Hi Michelle,
When you say your son has no friends do you mean none at all that you know of? I ask this because my son is almost 18 early next year and he is very shy, quiet, low self esteem. He has a couple of friends at college but he never
sees them outside of college. He does have a few friends that he plays with on his PS. I worry about this sometimes but I have just accepted that he is who is is and I just need to let him find his own way.

I'm hoping he finds a job or goes to university next year which will hopefully bring hin out of himself.

Get back in touch if you want to chat some more.

Edited on 27/12/2020 at 8:15 am by Liz A(767)

Sharon G(719)

29/01/2022 at 5:57 pm

In answer to

michelle s(758)

Hi michelle

i am also in the same position as you.

my son is really down.

he is depressed and cries a lot saying he just wants to be happy and he has no friends.

he is such a lovely boy, kind, caring, very handsome, however he doesn’t have much confidence.

I am at a loss how to help him.

I have cancelled a trip to Spain in two weeks because I’m so worried about leaving him on his own whilst he is feeling like this. I did ask him to come along but he declined.

it breaks my heart to see such a lovely soul going through this and I don’t know what to do to help.

I love him so much I feel helpless

Anonymous

06/04/2022 at 3:42 pm

In answer to

Sharon G(719)

Hi michelle

i am also in the same position as you.

my son is really down.

he is depressed and cries a lot saying he just wants to be happy and he has no friends.

he is such a lovely boy, kind, caring, very handsome, however he doesn’t have much confidence.

I am at a loss how to help him.

I have cancelled a trip to Spain in two weeks because I’m so worried about leaving him on his own whilst he is feeling like this. I did ask him to come along but he declined.

it breaks my heart to see such a lovely soul going through this and I don’t know what to do to help.

I love him so much I feel helpless

Hi Sharon,

I hope you get this message as I realize your post was from over two months ago. My heart breaks reading all of the posts, but I can definitely relate. My son is 17 (he just turned) and is depressed and cries a lot as well. He is very lonely. He doesn't have anyone his age to talk with, hang out with, - do things other teens do. He has had "acquaintances" in the past, but they all have moved on and do not include him. He's a loving and funny kid, but not one friend. He is also an only child which doesn't help either. Not even a sibling around. May I ask how old your son is? Has anything changed or improved for him since your post? How do you deal with this? ANY feedback you can provide is appreciated. Have a great day!

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Anonymous

11/04/2022 at 11:08 pm

See at 18 I liked keeping myself to myself much opposite to others he will come across friends without forcing and aslong as he happy and working hard I don't think it matters to much. He probably has people he talks to at college work etc just not interested going out which is best way . Go out with him instead go for meals days out be his best mate x

Can't find your answer?

Juliet D(41)

06/10/2022 at 9:32 pm

In answer to

Anonymous

Hi Sharon,

Hi my son is also 18, an only sibling, who has started Uni but still is struggling to make friends - he’s very sociable but he’s finding it hard.

Franchesca C

21/01/2023 at 3:10 pm

Hi my 18 your old son as no friends just at college but not where we live and it’s scary

Edel D

25/12/2023 at 1:33 pm

Hello. As a mum I'm in the exact same boat as you I'm sitting here crying because I'm so sad my son is missing outbin so much also. He's 18 years old hes handsome, kind, thoughtful, responsible he's just a beautiful person inside and out. He's got ADHD and he's struggling. He loves the chats and to have fun but its not happening for him because he has nobody to do it with. My heart is broken and I actually don't know what to do. Any advice will help , xx

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