Son won't pay board
81 answers /
Last post: 17/12/2023 at 4:08 pm
Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 9:52 am
Hi all I'm new on net mums and was looking for a bit of advice I have a 17 yr old who works full time I have asked him to start paying £20 p/w board and he just goes in a huff won't speak to me or my husband and refuses point blank to pay we are totally stuck on what to do any advice would be gratefully received x
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:00 am
When i was living at home and my dad wanted board i hated giving him money, purely because you don't see wheres it's going iyswim, instead of giving him the money I'd buy some food shopping or use it somewhere in the house. Maybe you could try that? You could always draw up a list of how much your house outgoings are and show him how expensive it is and how what you expect him to pay is only a fraction of it. I think 20 p/w is more than reasonable
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:02 am
You need to sit him down and explain to him that as he is no longer a dependant child, his child benefit and any working tax credits you got for him have stopped. He has taken on a grown-up role and so needs to act as an adult.
I think £20 a week is SUPER reasonable, and more than anything prepares him for the "real world" of paying rent and bills when he moves out. It's also a great time to impress on him the importance of saving his money for the future (not easy with a young lad)!
When I got a full time job at 17, my dad and stepmum charged me £400 a month rent and I also paid for all my own food. As we were living in Germany on a military base at the time they had no bills at all - gas/electric was paid for, no rent, cost of living allowance bonus every month - so I think this WAS totally unreasonable as I was just a "cash cow"! But I think it is vital that young adults in that situation learn responsibility and you are definitely doing the right thing x
I think £20 a week is SUPER reasonable, and more than anything prepares him for the "real world" of paying rent and bills when he moves out. It's also a great time to impress on him the importance of saving his money for the future (not easy with a young lad)!
When I got a full time job at 17, my dad and stepmum charged me £400 a month rent and I also paid for all my own food. As we were living in Germany on a military base at the time they had no bills at all - gas/electric was paid for, no rent, cost of living allowance bonus every month - so I think this WAS totally unreasonable as I was just a "cash cow"! But I think it is vital that young adults in that situation learn responsibility and you are definitely doing the right thing x
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:05 am
Hi we have tried that didn't work he refuses to help out in the house at all won't even wash his own cup he went to the doctors last week and went mad because he had to pay for his prescription have asked him to help chopping logs ( live on a farm) and he smashes the axe off the wall we are at our wits end I paid board when I lived at home and never questioned it once I just don't get it x
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:08 am
I think u need to get tough on him explain that how your wanting 20 a week board show him exactly how much he would have to pay if he moved out it would be a hell of a lot more then 20 a week he needs a reality check welcome to the real world where everythings not free id love to be a kid again and not have to worry about money and bills etc
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:09 am
Throw him out. He will soon find out that 20 per week. With helpful parents. Is much nicer than hundreds a month to live on his own
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:09 am
Do you mind me asking how much wages he gets a month and if there is the possibility that he can move out?
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:09 am
He sounds like a disrespectful little sheet tbh. I think there is a lot more going on there than simply him not wanting to pay board.
Ultimately though, if he wants to live in your house then he pays board and respects you and your rules. He has a choice, accept it or leave.
Ultimately though, if he wants to live in your house then he pays board and respects you and your rules. He has a choice, accept it or leave.
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:10 am
Show him the bedsits to rent adverts in the local paper and ask if his wages would cover that? If that doesn't work suggest that he buys and cooks all his own food and does own laundry etc. don't be a free house servant.
Why did he see the dr? Does he have depressions or mental health issues which could explain his misunderstanding of the situation?
Why did he see the dr? Does he have depressions or mental health issues which could explain his misunderstanding of the situation?
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Cassiej C
27/06/2014 at 10:10 am
I think that you need to make a list of the cost of things. If he had to pay for his own place he would have to pay rent and utility bills, buy his own shopping etc.
Make a list of what rents would be, energy costs and anything else you can think of.
If he doesn't agree to pay his way ---- and £20 is far too low with a full time job--- I would stop doing things for him. Get him to cook his own meals and do his own washing.
If he wants to be treated as an adult, then he needs to act like one.
Make a list of what rents would be, energy costs and anything else you can think of.
If he doesn't agree to pay his way ---- and £20 is far too low with a full time job--- I would stop doing things for him. Get him to cook his own meals and do his own washing.
If he wants to be treated as an adult, then he needs to act like one.
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:13 am
Oh we've had that, my husbands friend was around when my husband asked and our sons response was I'm just gonna get my own flat my husbands friend said good luck getting a flat and paying all your bills and food for £80 per month still nothing x
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:14 am
You may have to get tougher - sounds harsh, but as he's not contributing to the cost of food, try not giving him any! Explain in advance how much you spend on food, show him your last couple of shopping reciepts/bills, tell him that you are no longer getting any child benefit etc., and therefore haven't got the money coming in for his share of the food bill and if he's not prepared to contribute towards it you can't afford to feed him for free. Then put locks on your food cupboards and stop putting food in front of him. It is perhaps in extremis, but it may be the only way to get the message across if he's not prepared to listen to reason...
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:14 am
I'd stop doing anything you currently do for him such as washing or ironing clothes, making meals ect. He needs to stand on his own 2 feet and it's crazy that at his age he won't even wash his cup
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:14 am
He makes about 400 PCM plus overtime which he does a lot of x
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Anonymous
27/06/2014 at 10:18 am
In answer to
Anonymous
Show him the bedsits to rent adverts in the local paper and ask if his wages would cover that? If that doesn't work suggest that he buys and cooks all his own food and does own laundry etc. don't be a free house servant.
Why did he see the dr? Does he have depressions or mental health issues which could explain his misunderstanding of the situation?
Why did he see the dr? Does he have depressions or mental health issues which could explain his misunderstanding of the situation?
No depression has hay fever bad that's why he goes to the GP x
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